[Kashuu isn't really gone long enough for Yamato to do much more than sit up and throw the blankets back--sunlight filters in through his curtains, but they're still closed, and Yamato's too focused on poking at his own face to notice the distinct lack of blue and green around his room. He'll notice in a second, but right now, his mind is too busy dredging up all the terrible possibilities under the sun.
So when Kashuu returns and thrusts the mirror at him, he's expecting something much worse. Which is why, although there's definite surprise on his face, he just says--]
[HIS BIG OL' BEAUTIFUL EYES... Honestly, Kashuu wouldn't be able to immediately and consciously pinpoint why this is so distressing to him beyond #aesthetics, but it's very sad, somehow. Naturally, he doesn't express that part, he just expresses the INTENSE PANIC.
Maybe he should mention the sky is also apocalyptic.]
Retrospec stole the color straight outta your eyes! You should be more upset!
["It's not as weird as random freaky healing powers", he doesn't say, because they're both horrible about secrets in their own ways. He is frowning, at least, but it's definitely a lackluster reaction.]
I thought it would be way worse, with that reaction. Like they'd be all bloody or demonic or something. [He holds the mirror a little bit closer, but sure enough, there isn't even a hint of blue anywhere in there.] It does look pretty weird...
[SO SAD. Yamato's the same as always and it's not like the lack of color takes away from his overall expressiveness, but it does give the overall feeling that something is Missing or Not Quite Right.
He also reaches out again, but this time his hands fall shy of rudely grabbing Yamato's face and he just touches the spot below one of his eyes.]
...But your vision's not different or anything, yeah? Your eyes don't hurt?
[Well, that's... not what he was expecting to hear, honestly. It's surprising, though maybe it shouldn't be--he's been told his eyes are his best feature, and everyone knows how Kashuu feels about #aesthetic. It's not terribly strange that he'd be upset on Yamato's behalf, but the intensity of his reaction, his choice of words--all of it falls together in a way that sets off that strange feeling in his chest, the same one that pops up when Kashuu tosses out unexpected compliments, or smiles in that way that makes him look young, like he'd never been wrenched away from his dreams.
What is he supposed to make of that, anyway? Probably it means something, but there are other, more important things to worry about right now, so he brushes it off in favor of focusing on the situation at hand.
That doe-eyed look isn't quite the same in monochrome, but it's present all the same, even as he shakes his head slightly.]
No, they're fine. I didn't feel anything change. [Which doesn't mean anything, because he hadn't felt any changes when they'd woken up Thumbelina-sized, either.] You didn't either, right? When yours changed?
[He frowns thoughtfully, looking back into the mirror--and then unceremoniously scoots over to shove his face next to Kashuu's, holding it up to compare the difference. Kashuu's really do look even brighter now, in comparison... is gray better or worse than bright red??]
[The only reason he'd noticed his teeth is because he bit his dang lip immediately after.
That said, since he's used to Yamato invading his personal space and he's currently Distressed, he doesn't even give him shit about being a graceless punk. He just stares at their reflections, looking even more distressed.]
It's different now... I liked it before. Blue and red are complimentary colors, you know?
[THEY DON'T MATCH ANYMORE. Red and grey work nicely together too, but the red of his eyes are definitely almost overpowering...]
[It never does, indeed. He didn't feel anything when he got his freaky healing powers, either, which he should really get around to mentioning...
But instead what comes out is:] I didn't know you cared that much.
[Which would sound rude coming from most other people, but from Yamato, there's nothing but mild surprise--and a small smile tugging at his lips as he leans his head against Kashuu's, contemplative.]
Well, I could always get contacts. Yours worked, didn't they? [Until Kashuu stopped using them, anyway... if Kashuu wasn't so upset about this, he'd just accept it as a new fact of life and move on, but. Now that it's been pointed out, he misses being matchy-matchy too.]
[He pulls his head away a little, but only so he can bonk it lightly against Yamato's.]
Of course I care about things like that.
[AESTHETIC.
...Even though there's something else here that goes beyond how miffed he gets when things aren't pleasing to the eye, and he still can't put a finger on it. It's pretty dang frustrating, in any case.]
There's no way you could keep up with contact maintenance, though. And it wouldn't really be the same, like how mine weren't.
[Sure, they made his eyes appear brown again, but red still showed through near the center and they were very obviously contacts when people got up close. He's just now realizing how often he looks at Yamato's eyes closely, and simultaneously realizing how weird it'd be to see someone who had blue eyes all their life wearing blue contacts over grey eyes...]
[It didn't actually hurt, but he's gonna pout anyway, lowering the mirror and rubbing his head.]
That's different, though. Yours are a pretty color. [Not UGLY OL' GRAY... though Yamato wouldn't really consider "gray" to be pretty or ugly, honestly, it's just kinda... there. Drab.] I could try, I don't know... purple or something. I could get red too!
[Though Kashuu is not wrong, the only way he'd keep up with it is if he got ones you wouldn't have to take out for at least a month.]
Maybe they'll change back? Although... [He hesitates, but that alone is enough to give away that something else is on his mind, and it's too late to back out.] This isn't... the only thing.
You've been saying that since the beginning, geez... [Back before everyone else told him they looked nice too and he actually started feeling kind of secure, but having Yamato say so from the start definitely helped.] Anyway, if you wanna try, go ahead. I have coupons, even.
[BUT WHAT'S THIS... The hesitation draws his attention away from the mirror and he leans back a little to look at Yamato properly.]
It's been true since the beginning. [Yasusada "thoughtlessly thoughtful" Yamato, who shrugs as he says it in response to the offer. Whether he'll actually bother to give it a try or not, he hasn't yet decided... it depends on whether Kashuu will continue to look that distressed every time they look at each other, really.]
Well, I haven't tried it again so I'm hoping it went away... [But even as he says it, the reluctance with which he's speaking makes it clear he doesn't think it did.] Do you remember when I told about that fight, with those crazy guys that broke in?
[Crazy guys who now just seem like regular old mobsters doing mobster things, since Yamato doesn't remember he'd been fighting to protect Yato at the time. Whoops.]
[HUFFS just huffs because he can't handle this sort of unintentional kindness, what the heck!! Let him live... Let him live his best life.]
Yeah, I remember that. [HOW COULD HE FORGET. He also remembers the Yato part of the equation but since he isn't yet aware that Yamato's forgotten about him, he doesn't bother mentioning it.] What happened then?
[With whatever changed, since clearly SOMETHING CHANGED and Yamtatoes didn't TELL HIM!! (Kind of like how he hasn't mentioned any of his dang changes, either. Pot, kettle, etc.)]
AND NO JUDGING WITH YOUR SECRETY SECRETS PEANUT GOSH!! So what if Yamato hasn't mentioned anything about the memory he'd seen just before their fight, it's totally not the same thing.
He's committed to fessing up to this, though, so after biting his lip, he pushes up his sleeve to point at a spot on his arm.]
I said I didn't get hurt, but... I did, actually. One of them had a knife, and they got me right here.
[Except that there's no visible evidence of a stab or a cut at all. Not even the faintest hint of a scar, and Kashuu definitely would've at least noticed a bandage on him at some point, if he'd had an open wound.]
After they were down, I went to look at it to see if I needed to go to the hospital, but... there was nothing. Lots of blood, but no cut.
[AH, THE RARE SCOLDING TONE... He sure does not look happy at all about being lied to about the injury, in any case. He's more upset about that than not being told about Yamato's newfound ability...
He'll reach out for the arm that's shown to him, in any case, lifting it up to stare at it with GREAT SCRUTINY just in case there is some sort of scar. ...But he should know that there wouldn't be, right? Geez.]
...Tell me about these things when they happen to you, okay? I don't care if it's not a problem after, I still wanna know if you ever get hurt.
Well I was fine in the end! It was more important to warn you about attackers!
[Which is a valid point?! But he's kinda-sorta wincing in that way that means he knows he did a bad... he'll even take Kashuu's hand once he's done inspecting the non!injury, giving it an apologetic squeeze.] I'm sorry. I just figured it wasn't a big deal when you had so much going on already.
[Which isn't something he'd normally admit, and honestly, he can't quite meet Kashuu's eyes as he says it, embarrassed. In truth, though, he's still quietly convinced it was the right thing to do--he'd do it again, and probably will, in the future. For now, though, he just can't handle the look on Kashuu's face, even if his pouting is far more familiar than his earlier distress.]
That's the only thing so far, though. That I know of, anyway.
[Don't avoid looking at him, punk!! Damn. He squeezes Yamato's hands a little in return, but he still feels pretty unsettled by this happening without his having any clue at all.]
I don't want to find out you got seriously hurt someday or something worse, but you didn't tell me because of whatever.
[Knowledge is important for preparation. Being prepared is becoming increasingly important in this city. He really can't tolerate the idea of Yamato being hurt because of a lack of foresight or preparation on his own part that could have been prevented if Yamato just told him about these things in advance.
...
Though he supposes this is a two-way street, huh.]
—I'll tell you what goes on with me if you tell me what's going on with you, okay? Is that a deal?
[It's funny, really, the way that tone makes him want to instantly obey, eyes flicking guiltily back to Kashuu's face.
When did their relationship turn into this? It wasn't like this when they were kids, that's for sure, back when Yamato happily dragged him home off the streets, his cheer impervious to Kashuu's glares or complaints. Somewhere along the line, things had shifted--and maybe Kashuu's just a natural leader, but now, it's much harder for Yamato to go against his wishes, when they sound like orders.
The suggestion Kashuu follows it up with, though, isn't one he'd expected, and he blinks, visibly surprised. Surely Kashuu realizes what that entails, doesn't he? Yamato pushes far too much as it is, they both know that, but it comes from a place of love, his concern for his closest friend outweighing his respect for boundaries. If Kashuu's offering to be open all on his own...
Well, of course there's no way he'd say no to that.
He nods, but stops abruptly, cutting himself off in favor of lifting up one pinky.]
[When he reaches out to lock pinkies with Yamato, it's an automatic sort of gesture without hesitation.]
Promise.
[And one shake for good measure.
...Though he does give Yamato a mildly critical look after that.]
So that's it? There's nothing else you wanna tell me?
[No extra limbs or the ability to scale walls or blast laser beams out of his eyes?? On a scale of 0 to weird as hell, he supposes instantaneous healing is both not that weird and pretty damn useful. ...Or it would be if it wasn't given to Yamato, who'll probably take it as a green light to go do a bunch of dangerous shit that he wouldn't otherwise be able to if he had to worry about normal human healing.
Yes, as far as I-- oh, well, I had another one of those vision things around the same time, but it was... [A vague gesture that's supposed to mean "kind of the same as the others" but also "I'm not sure I could explain it even if I tried" all at once. Somehow. VERY CLEAR, YAMS.
He's apparently not going to explain more than that, though, because Kashuu's lack of faith comes from the fact that Yamato is Yamato.]
Hey, should we test it out? I wonder how far it goes before it doesn't work anymore... [stop him]
[FORTUNATELY FOR HIM since Kashuu doesn't want to share his either, he doesn't bother pressing... If he asks about Yamato, Yamato might ask about him, okay. He just FOOLISHLY ASSUMES that if it's something important or really troubling, Yamato would tell him anyway...
Instead, he'll focus on that second part because really what the heck.]
Um, no? No. Don't even think about it! That's not the kinda thing you just casually test out, you idiot!
You don't! These are the kinda things you just figure out accidentally or remember, you don't go outta your way to learn more if it means throwing yourself off a roof or sticking your finger in a blender or something.
I wouldn't go that far! [lies] But if I do end up getting hurt somehow-- if, okay, just if, it would be better to know what I don't need to worry about, and what I still need to go to the hospital for.
[Just casually assumes he's gonna end up in the hospital again at some point?? But to be fair, even now he goes a little too hard in kendo, so he's probably not incorrect.]
[WHY DOESN'T HE DODGE but he doesn't, just rubs his head and frowns.]
I'm serious though! With the way things are going, who knows what's going to happen? [When are they going to get attacked by ladybugs again?? THESE ARE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS. He quiets down a little, then, and although his expression hasn't changed, there's something more serious in his demeanor.]
If we both got hurt... I don't want to think about it, but if we did, then I want to know how much I could deal with, so that I could get you help, you know? The less I have to worry about my own injuries, the quicker I could get us to a hospital or something. I'm not going to go jump in a busy street or anything, but... unless you can do this too, then I'm going to worry about your safety more than my own. I'm sorry, but I can't change that.
[As if he's ever put his own safety above Kashuu's in the first place. But it's true that, as unbelievable as it may sound, Yamato's far less reckless than he could be, especially as he gets older and continues to mellow out. He gets his exercise and discipline in kendo, but even in their school days, he'd made sure not to put himself in danger in a way that would jeopardize Kashuu's safety, too. Fighting assholes side-by-side isn't glamorous enough to die for.]
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So when Kashuu returns and thrusts the mirror at him, he's expecting something much worse. Which is why, although there's definite surprise on his face, he just says--]
Oh, that's it?
[YAMS PLS.]
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[HIS BIG OL' BEAUTIFUL EYES... Honestly, Kashuu wouldn't be able to immediately and consciously pinpoint why this is so distressing to him beyond #aesthetics, but it's very sad, somehow. Naturally, he doesn't express that part, he just expresses the INTENSE PANIC.
Maybe he should mention the sky is also apocalyptic.]
Retrospec stole the color straight outta your eyes! You should be more upset!
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["It's not as weird as random freaky healing powers", he doesn't say, because they're both horrible about secrets in their own ways. He is frowning, at least, but it's definitely a lackluster reaction.]
I thought it would be way worse, with that reaction. Like they'd be all bloody or demonic or something. [He holds the mirror a little bit closer, but sure enough, there isn't even a hint of blue anywhere in there.] It does look pretty weird...
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[SO SAD. Yamato's the same as always and it's not like the lack of color takes away from his overall expressiveness, but it does give the overall feeling that something is Missing or Not Quite Right.
He also reaches out again, but this time his hands fall shy of rudely grabbing Yamato's face and he just touches the spot below one of his eyes.]
...But your vision's not different or anything, yeah? Your eyes don't hurt?
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What is he supposed to make of that, anyway? Probably it means something, but there are other, more important things to worry about right now, so he brushes it off in favor of focusing on the situation at hand.
That doe-eyed look isn't quite the same in monochrome, but it's present all the same, even as he shakes his head slightly.]
No, they're fine. I didn't feel anything change. [Which doesn't mean anything, because he hadn't felt any changes when they'd woken up Thumbelina-sized, either.] You didn't either, right? When yours changed?
[He frowns thoughtfully, looking back into the mirror--and then unceremoniously scoots over to shove his face next to Kashuu's, holding it up to compare the difference. Kashuu's really do look even brighter now, in comparison... is gray better or worse than bright red??]
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[The only reason he'd noticed his teeth is because he bit his dang lip immediately after.
That said, since he's used to Yamato invading his personal space and he's currently Distressed, he doesn't even give him shit about being a graceless punk. He just stares at their reflections, looking even more distressed.]
It's different now... I liked it before. Blue and red are complimentary colors, you know?
[THEY DON'T MATCH ANYMORE. Red and grey work nicely together too, but the red of his eyes are definitely almost overpowering...]
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But instead what comes out is:] I didn't know you cared that much.
[Which would sound rude coming from most other people, but from Yamato, there's nothing but mild surprise--and a small smile tugging at his lips as he leans his head against Kashuu's, contemplative.]
Well, I could always get contacts. Yours worked, didn't they? [Until Kashuu stopped using them, anyway... if Kashuu wasn't so upset about this, he'd just accept it as a new fact of life and move on, but. Now that it's been pointed out, he misses being matchy-matchy too.]
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Of course I care about things like that.
[AESTHETIC.
...Even though there's something else here that goes beyond how miffed he gets when things aren't pleasing to the eye, and he still can't put a finger on it. It's pretty dang frustrating, in any case.]
There's no way you could keep up with contact maintenance, though. And it wouldn't really be the same, like how mine weren't.
[Sure, they made his eyes appear brown again, but red still showed through near the center and they were very obviously contacts when people got up close. He's just now realizing how often he looks at Yamato's eyes closely, and simultaneously realizing how weird it'd be to see someone who had blue eyes all their life wearing blue contacts over grey eyes...]
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[It didn't actually hurt, but he's gonna pout anyway, lowering the mirror and rubbing his head.]
That's different, though. Yours are a pretty color. [Not UGLY OL' GRAY... though Yamato wouldn't really consider "gray" to be pretty or ugly, honestly, it's just kinda... there. Drab.] I could try, I don't know... purple or something. I could get red too!
[Though Kashuu is not wrong, the only way he'd keep up with it is if he got ones you wouldn't have to take out for at least a month.]
Maybe they'll change back? Although... [He hesitates, but that alone is enough to give away that something else is on his mind, and it's too late to back out.] This isn't... the only thing.
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You've been saying that since the beginning, geez... [Back before everyone else told him they looked nice too and he actually started feeling kind of secure, but having Yamato say so from the start definitely helped.] Anyway, if you wanna try, go ahead. I have coupons, even.
[BUT WHAT'S THIS... The hesitation draws his attention away from the mirror and he leans back a little to look at Yamato properly.]
Huh? Did something else change?
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Well, I haven't tried it again so I'm hoping it went away... [But even as he says it, the reluctance with which he's speaking makes it clear he doesn't think it did.] Do you remember when I told about that fight, with those crazy guys that broke in?
[Crazy guys who now just seem like regular old mobsters doing mobster things, since Yamato doesn't remember he'd been fighting to protect Yato at the time. Whoops.]
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Yeah, I remember that. [HOW COULD HE FORGET. He also remembers the Yato part of the equation but since he isn't yet aware that Yamato's forgotten about him, he doesn't bother mentioning it.] What happened then?
[With whatever changed, since clearly SOMETHING CHANGED and Yamtatoes didn't TELL HIM!! (Kind of like how he hasn't mentioned any of his dang changes, either. Pot, kettle, etc.)]
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AND NO JUDGING WITH YOUR SECRETY SECRETS PEANUT GOSH!! So what if Yamato hasn't mentioned anything about the memory he'd seen just before their fight, it's totally not the same thing.
He's committed to fessing up to this, though, so after biting his lip, he pushes up his sleeve to point at a spot on his arm.]
I said I didn't get hurt, but... I did, actually. One of them had a knife, and they got me right here.
[Except that there's no visible evidence of a stab or a cut at all. Not even the faintest hint of a scar, and Kashuu definitely would've at least noticed a bandage on him at some point, if he'd had an open wound.]
After they were down, I went to look at it to see if I needed to go to the hospital, but... there was nothing. Lots of blood, but no cut.
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[AH, THE RARE SCOLDING TONE... He sure does not look happy at all about being lied to about the injury, in any case. He's more upset about that than not being told about Yamato's newfound ability...
He'll reach out for the arm that's shown to him, in any case, lifting it up to stare at it with GREAT SCRUTINY just in case there is some sort of scar. ...But he should know that there wouldn't be, right? Geez.]
...Tell me about these things when they happen to you, okay? I don't care if it's not a problem after, I still wanna know if you ever get hurt.
[HUFFS... PUFFS. Sulks, honestly.]
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[Which is a valid point?! But he's kinda-sorta wincing in that way that means he knows he did a bad... he'll even take Kashuu's hand once he's done inspecting the non!injury, giving it an apologetic squeeze.] I'm sorry. I just figured it wasn't a big deal when you had so much going on already.
[Which isn't something he'd normally admit, and honestly, he can't quite meet Kashuu's eyes as he says it, embarrassed. In truth, though, he's still quietly convinced it was the right thing to do--he'd do it again, and probably will, in the future. For now, though, he just can't handle the look on Kashuu's face, even if his pouting is far more familiar than his earlier distress.]
That's the only thing so far, though. That I know of, anyway.
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[Don't avoid looking at him, punk!! Damn. He squeezes Yamato's hands a little in return, but he still feels pretty unsettled by this happening without his having any clue at all.]
I don't want to find out you got seriously hurt someday or something worse, but you didn't tell me because of whatever.
[Knowledge is important for preparation. Being prepared is becoming increasingly important in this city. He really can't tolerate the idea of Yamato being hurt because of a lack of foresight or preparation on his own part that could have been prevented if Yamato just told him about these things in advance.
...
Though he supposes this is a two-way street, huh.]
—I'll tell you what goes on with me if you tell me what's going on with you, okay? Is that a deal?
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When did their relationship turn into this? It wasn't like this when they were kids, that's for sure, back when Yamato happily dragged him home off the streets, his cheer impervious to Kashuu's glares or complaints. Somewhere along the line, things had shifted--and maybe Kashuu's just a natural leader, but now, it's much harder for Yamato to go against his wishes, when they sound like orders.
The suggestion Kashuu follows it up with, though, isn't one he'd expected, and he blinks, visibly surprised. Surely Kashuu realizes what that entails, doesn't he? Yamato pushes far too much as it is, they both know that, but it comes from a place of love, his concern for his closest friend outweighing his respect for boundaries. If Kashuu's offering to be open all on his own...
Well, of course there's no way he'd say no to that.
He nods, but stops abruptly, cutting himself off in favor of lifting up one pinky.]
I promise.
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Promise.
[And one shake for good measure.
...Though he does give Yamato a mildly critical look after that.]
So that's it? There's nothing else you wanna tell me?
[No extra limbs or the ability to scale walls or blast laser beams out of his eyes?? On a scale of 0 to weird as hell, he supposes instantaneous healing is both not that weird and pretty damn useful. ...Or it would be if it wasn't given to Yamato, who'll probably take it as a green light to go do a bunch of dangerous shit that he wouldn't otherwise be able to if he had to worry about normal human healing.
His faith, it's so low.]
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He's apparently not going to explain more than that, though, because Kashuu's lack of faith comes from the fact that Yamato is Yamato.]
Hey, should we test it out? I wonder how far it goes before it doesn't work anymore... [stop him]
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Instead, he'll focus on that second part because really what the heck.]
Um, no? No. Don't even think about it! That's not the kinda thing you just casually test out, you idiot!
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But how else are we supposed to know how it works? [brb jumping off the roof]
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You don't! These are the kinda things you just figure out accidentally or remember, you don't go outta your way to learn more if it means throwing yourself off a roof or sticking your finger in a blender or something.
[WHO WOULD DO THAT THOUGH.]
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I wouldn't go that far! [lies] But if I do end up getting hurt somehow-- if, okay, just if, it would be better to know what I don't need to worry about, and what I still need to go to the hospital for.
[Just casually assumes he's gonna end up in the hospital again at some point?? But to be fair, even now he goes a little too hard in kendo, so he's probably not incorrect.]
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You're doing this on purpose now!
[Giving him small heart attacks, he means but doesn't clarify...]
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[WHY DOESN'T HE DODGE but he doesn't, just rubs his head and frowns.]
I'm serious though! With the way things are going, who knows what's going to happen? [When are they going to get attacked by ladybugs again?? THESE ARE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS. He quiets down a little, then, and although his expression hasn't changed, there's something more serious in his demeanor.]
If we both got hurt... I don't want to think about it, but if we did, then I want to know how much I could deal with, so that I could get you help, you know? The less I have to worry about my own injuries, the quicker I could get us to a hospital or something. I'm not going to go jump in a busy street or anything, but... unless you can do this too, then I'm going to worry about your safety more than my own. I'm sorry, but I can't change that.
[As if he's ever put his own safety above Kashuu's in the first place. But it's true that, as unbelievable as it may sound, Yamato's far less reckless than he could be, especially as he gets older and continues to mellow out. He gets his exercise and discipline in kendo, but even in their school days, he'd made sure not to put himself in danger in a way that would jeopardize Kashuu's safety, too. Fighting assholes side-by-side isn't glamorous enough to die for.]
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1/2 bc I hate myself I guess
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why are you this way!!!!
AHHHH ur influence probably
why are u so slanderous
I need something to focus on besides these morons
IS THAT REALLY HELPING
no
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