okitactless | IC inbox; recolle

[Dimly, somewhere in the back of his mind, Yasusada wonders if he should be surprised. It's not like it's something he'd ever actively considered--and somehow, he doesn't think Kashuu had, either. And yet, not a single part of him tenses in shock. He doesn't jerk away, doesn't blush, doesn't even open his eyes as he tilts his head up to meet him halfway. He simply returns the kiss, pressing back firmly enough to make sure he isn't dreaming, but for once not turning anything into an aggressive competition.

It's a mess, but it doesn't matter. He can handle messes, as long as they're making them together.

"Right, this is how it's meant to be."

This isn't the first time he's felt that way. But they'd only been apart for a week, then, and they'd made the conscious decision to stay apart. It had been a subtle thing then, a stray thought lost to stilted apologies and the familiarity of Kashuu's hand in his own. Now, it's a realization that's as overwhelming as it is obvious, as if any other course of action is unthinkable.

"Don't let go," Kashuu tells him, so he doesn't. There's no reason to, anyway--everything he wants to say, he pours into their kiss, keeping them tangled together for as long as he can. Laying like this can't be any more comfortable Kashuu than it is for him, but right now, he doesn't care. Even when they break apart, he doesn't move, speaking against Kashuu's lips so quietly that his words are more felt than heard.]

I... [And despite the pain and the exhaustion, Yasusada can't hold back a small smile.] I got there first.

[...Alright, maybe it's a little bit of a competition.]

[It wouldn't be them without at least a little competition...

In any other situation a comment like that would probably net Yasusada a cuff upside the head, a shove - but he's merciful this time, mindful of the injuries. He still makes an annoyed sound anyway, though, and Yasusada will probably feel his mouth pull into a frown just a hair's breadth away.]

You're unbelievable.

[In all of the best and all of the worst ways, and he wouldn't trade it for anything.

...It's undeniable that his next kiss isn't at least 50% payback for that comment, though, even if it's still soft and full of things he doesn't quite have names for just yet.

The huffiness doesn't last long, either. In a situation like this, who wouldn't be smiling?]

You also stink.

[WELP.]

Take a bath and lemme take a look at your wounds, okay?

[Because-- well. He's been worried about a lot of things and now he has even more to sort and process and it's all a mess they've made, a mess he's somewhat grateful for, but the only thing they can do from here on is move one foot in front of the other. One step at a time. Just like it's always been.

He'll probably recognize later just how stupid it is that it's taken this much time and such extreme circumstances for him to actually put all of the pieces into place. For now, he just revels in the feeling of wholeness that comes with it.]

[He can't help it--even as Kashuu claims his mouth again, he's laughing quietly, and finally, finally his vicelike grip begins to ease. There's still a hint of possessiveness there, a lingering desire to keep Kashuu to himself for just a little longer, but Kashuu's right; jungle water and cabin showers aren't exactly the height of luxury.]

Yeah, yeah. [With noticeable reluctance, he untangles his fingers from Kashuu's hair, smoothing it down once in a brief apology for messing it up even more. He can't hide his wince as he pushes himself up, and even though his arms fall away, he manages to keep one hand on Kashuu's sleeve.]

Help me get there? [He sounds more vulnerable now than he did just moments ago, and maybe that's ridiculous, but. No matter how many times Kashuu's seen him injured, he hates making him worry, especially when that worry is completely justified. He's still in one piece, and honestly, it could've been far worse, but he still doesn't like it.

Like this, he can see Kashuu's own injuries a little more clearly, but that's something he can worry about in a little bit. Once they're both a little more settled.

His vessel is still on the floor beside them. He's forgotten all about it.]

[It's stupid since he's the one who asked for this, but he can't help feeling a little unhappy as Yasusada pushes himself up and pulls away. He wants to keep the reaffirmation of his presence as close as possible, as if it might somehow become less tangible if he doesn't hold it tightly.

He does stink, though.]

Yeah, sure.

[No teasing jabs, since he knows that vulnerability. He'll push himself up - noticing Yasusada's vessel, and reaching down for it. He handles it with care as he holds it back out, like he'd hold Yasusada's actual hand. Once it's taken back, he'll move so he can loop an arm round his shoulders.]

Geez... You really find a way to get into trouble no matter where you are, huh?

[It's almost as impressive as his ability to simultaneously be INFURIATINGLY ANNOYING and INFURIATINGLY ADORABLE. But after bracing, he's ready to stand whenever Yasusada gives him the go-ahead.]

[STOP JUDGING HIM FOR HIS EAU DE JUNGLE KASHUU HE CAN'T HELP IT!!

But as Kashuu gets up, Yasusada does a quick check of his own body, making sure nothing feels any worse than it did before. His ankle still throbs, and it still hurts to breathe, but it feels like he'd been correct in assuming none of his bones had been broken. Somehow... thanks for going easy on him, sonic yari...

He hadn't let anyone touch his vessel in the jungle, not even Anya, so he jumps a little to feel Kashuu's touch. His eyes widen briefly, and all of sudden, the memories come rushing back--everything he'd seen, everything he hadn't been able to share with Kashuu before unreality tore them apart. Any sort of teasing retort he might've offered is wiped from his mind, and he opens his mouth to blurt out everything at once--

--but, no Kashuu's right. It can wait a little longer. He winds an arm around Kashuu's neck in turn, but the look on his face is suddenly serious.]

Kiyomitsu... there's a lot I have to tell you about, later. ["So don't go anywhere," he wants to say, as if all the promises and reassurances just a few moments ago weren't enough. He doesn't say it, nodding slightly so they can stand up, but he might be leaning just a little more closer than he really needs to be.]

[JUDGERS GONNA JUDGE

They really do have a lot to catch up on, though. Kiyomitsu himself is thinking of the last three weeks in particular, of the monsters and the things he'd learned about Retrospec and everything they'd done. Of the things he'd remembered. Of the promises he'd made.

It can all wait.]

I'm not going anywhere.

[Yasusada doesn't have to say it for Kiyomitsu to understand it's there. But it's off to the bathroom for now!! He'll even run the tub for Yasusada, and while it's running, he points to the closed toilet.]

Sit. What's bothering you? I'll take a look.

[Yasusada's pretty sure he could hear it a hundred times, and still feel that same rush of relief. He doesn't say anything, but he knows Kashuu can feel his gratitude anyway, and when they make it to the bathroom, he sits down obediently.]

I think my ankle got the worst of it. [Gesturing to his one (1) swollen ankle... he also tilts his head to the side, pointing to where he hadn't been able to avoid the claws of the monster from his nightmare.] These aren't that deep but I didn't get a chance to clean them... I think the rest is mostly bruises.

[And aside from a few small scrapes he hadn't noticed, probably ones he'd gotten on his way home, he's actually telling the truth. Of course, that doesn't mean they aren't intense bruises, and his back and ribs are especially painful to touch--but there's only so much they can do about that.

He takes his time observing Kashuu, too, reaching out and brushing his fingers over every hint that Kashuu had gotten a little banged up himself. He believes that Kashuu's more-or-less fine, but that doesn't stop him from worrying.]

Did you have to use it? [The sword, he means. Now that he knows what it feels like to kill something with it, it's a question that seems important.]

Edited (whoops) 2017-08-28 03:08 (UTC)

[He kneels down on the floor in front of Yasusada, carefully picking his foot up and resting it on his knee so he can inspect it. He's not exactly a medical professional here, but he's looking for any signs that this might need to be treated by one...]

Monsters out there too, huh? You look pretty beat up.

[Even if there's only the one set of cuts, the bruising itself is hard to look at. By contrast, Kashuu's worst injury is the swelling of his wrist, which was... inevitable, honestly, given all he's done over the last three weeks.

He'll press a bit to check for fractures, but there's no point bandaging anything up before Yasusada takes a bath, so he'll just gingerly place his foot back on the ground.]

I think it'll be okay, but you're going to the doctor right away if it doesn't start looking better soon, got it? I'll clean this for you, too. [His fingers trace a path down next to one of the gashes, frowning.

As for the question:] —Mm, yeah. That's mostly all I used.

[Except for 3 grenades THANKS GRELL.]

Just one.

[In some cases, that would be a source of embarrassment; now, he simply looks tired at the memory of it.]

It was the same kind I've seen in memories, but... it was a lot stronger than I thought. And there was another person in the room. [A noncombatant, which he figures is obvious. And between those two points, it's also probably obvious why he's in such a state--between an Extra Strength enemy and somebody that needed protecting, there's no question that Yasusada would've thrown his everything into the fight.]

Oh, and I guess the dragon counts too. [And all the battles he got into on the way home?! YAMS PLEASE KEEP TRACK OF THESE THINGS

But of course he's not doing that. He's looking at Kashuu instead with something like understanding, tinged with sadness.]

It's... not a good feeling. [Maybe Kashuu's used to it by now. He's had the stronger bond with his blade from the start, after all. Still, he sighs softly, shaking his head just a little.]

It could've been worse, though. I thought for sure I'd lose it when we went over that waterfall... [HE DOESN'T NEED DROWNING TRAUMA there's already a gumi sword for that!!]

["It's not a good feeling", he says, and Kiyomitsu drops into a discomforted sort of silence after that because he has grown used to it. He grew used to it far too easily, and even if he tells himself it's out of necessity's sake, that doesn't change much, if anything.

But he doesn't focus on that. He just hums a little - his noncommittal "not agreeing or disagreeing" sound.

And then he sighs, which is much more obviously I'm Fucking Tired.]

You're gonna have to explain this to me later, you know. I wanna hear about it all. [...] It's a miracle you're not more beat up than this, too. [......]

Are you alright? [That's a general question, but specifically:] If you had to deal with that thing from your memories, it must have been tough.

[He still remembers Yasusada's scream, the night he had that nightmare. His hand raises briefly, fingers ghosting against visible bruises.]

[If he understands what lies unspoken there, Yasusada doesn't show it. He hasn't really accepted what he is yet, hasn't had the time to really sit down and process the things he'd seen and heard in his mind. It's too much to think about right now, so he doesn't, instead reaching out to tangle their fingers together.]

I will. [And he means it; once he's clean and settled, he has no intention of doing anything but curling up with Kashuu and telling him all about what had happened when they'd been apart. As if anything could make up for that missed time.

He doesn't answer right away, but the look on his face shows that he's genuinely considering the question. Is he alright? He hasn't stopped to think about it since the battle, seeing as they'd been thrown against a dragon almost immediately after. If he wakes up in a cold sweat with an icy glow behind his eyelids and phantom claws at his throat, he won't really be that surprised.

Still, he settles for a slow nod.] A little bit, at first, but... losing wasn't an option. [He'd already had to get Jack more involved than he'd wanted to, but it couldn't be helped. If Yasusada had fallen there, leaving Jack to fight it off alone... now that, that would not be okay one bit. But he won, in the end, and that's what matters.] It might help, now. Knowing that we can win against them.

[It's good to have that reassurance, just as it's good to know that Yasusada isn't... Well, he's not exactly doing great, but he's not doing as badly as he could be, either. It's awful that "good enough" has become what he's had to settle for so often, but it's not like he can help it.

The mention of knowing that they can win against those creatures has him smiling, if only briefly.]

We have before.

[A lot of times, presumably. Lots and lots. Which brings him to--]

...I've got a lot to tell you, too.

[Not just related to the last three weeks after all, because now that they're on this track, he's remembering just how much he's pieced together (because he had to promptly set it aside to focus on the more important task at hand - getting the missing people back.)

For now, he just gives Yasusada's hand a squeeze and then stands to stop the water.

Just to try recapturing some vague sense of normalcy with a light tease:] You don't need any help with this, yeah?

[The certainty with which Kashuu says it has his head tilting with curiosity, but he doesn't press. For once, he's confident Kashuu isn't going to dodge around anything; besides, he can kind of already guess where it's coming from.

He smiles back, shooing Kashuu out of the bathroom with a wave of his hand. It takes some time to get clean, as he tries to bite back any noises of pain or discomfort, and no matter how much he wants to cling to Kashuu's side, it's a genuine struggle not to fall asleep in the gloriously warm water. He can feel the minor scrapes and cuts beginning to heal, and already, he feels better than he has in... well, in literal weeks.

Once he summons up the energy to leave the tub, it's much easier. He's still in pain, and it's going to be a thousand times worse tomorrow, but he's clean and relaxed and that's enough to have him hobbling to his room on his own strength. He doesn't bother looking as he throws on the clothes nearest to him, but he does stop to grab a brush before shuffling into Kashuu's room. He doesn't knock, but then, he never really did in the first place.]

Better? [There's quiet amusement in his tone even as he scoots over to flop onto Kashuu's bed, eager to get off of his sprained ankle.] Or do I still smell like a jungle?

[He's used to the room invasions, it's true... And it's welcome now, after three weeks of returning home to sleep at night without the sounds of Yasusada doing whatever elsewhere in the apartment, or barging in to show him stupid things on the phone, ask him weird questions, whatever else.

He'll sit up on his bed once Yasusada flops over onto it, pulling his legs up and reaching automatically for the brush that he sees in his hand.]

Hm... [Leans over and SNIFFS HIM because this is just a thing he does in all lives, apparently.] ...Nope, you're good! Turn around.

[Time to sink back into the blessed routine that he missed so much he feels he might cry about it, just a little. But he doesn't, of course.]

You wanna go first?

[WHY IS KASHUU A BLOODHOUND why you gotta be a sniffing creeper...

Except Yasusada absolutely doesn't mind; he's still reveling in how much better he feels, simply knowing that Kashuu is just a touch away. And he's not even that for long, since he's scooting over to rest his head on Kashuu's lap, apparently uncaring that he's getting his wet puppy hair all over Kashuu's clothes... some things truly never change.

He doesn't really like not being able to see Kashuu's face, even being so close together. Like he'll look up and see he'd been dreaming all along, that he'd fallen asleep on Anya or something and they're still trapped in the jungle. But it can't be helped, so he closes his eyes, sighing quietly.]

There were... twelve of us, I think. Anya was there too. We got dropped into some jungle... all the green hurt my eyes a little bit. [Since he'd gotten used to all the gray, for the most part.] We saw two little floating lights, I guess they were? Something forced us to follow them, so we split up. We found a watchtower with a radio that had the Retrospec logo on it, and some other stuff, but all of it got stolen by monkeys.

[Good lord the disdain in his voice right now?? That's right, there's finally an animal that Yasusada hates even more than cats. INCREDIBLE.]

We chased them and ended up near a waterfall, and Anya decided to try and keep chasing the monkeys... anyway, we ended up getting pushed over the waterfall. I still don't really know how we survived that one.

[And then they'd arrived a camp that seemed to be made for their arrival, which was suspicious as hell--except that Yasusada hadn't thought much of it, too busy desperately trying to make sure his vessel was undamaged.

There's more to it, but he hesitates, reluctant to continue without addressing the biggest thing on his mind.]

But before all of that, I saw another memory.

Hey—!

[YASUSADA he can't brush your hair when your head is in his lap?! Also gross, he doesn't want the remnants of bath water on him!!

...

But after like, less than five seconds, he starts finger-combing through Yasusada's hair instead. This is fine too, he supposes. Either way, he'll listen while Yasusada explains things, not really seeming too surprised by any of it. It's wild shit, but he stole pearls from an underwater seahorse racing track after growing gills and pretending to be a jockey. He feels very little can surprise him now.

There are a few hums of acknowledgment as he goes, and a frown of disapproval he can't see but probably knows is there when he mentions the waterfall. He doesn't like learning about these dangerous things after they happen... But it's better than not knowing at all.]

—Yeah? What did you see that time?

[SURE HE CAN come on Kashuu you're a beauty guru figure it out

But yes, Yasusada can feel that frown, and he's too tired to even flinch away from it. He doesn't like upsetting Kashuu, especially when it's something as uncontrollable as this, but it can't be helped. Besides, it wasn't like he jumped in on purpose.

He doesn't answer right away, and with his careful breathing, it probably looks like he's fallen asleep. But he isn't--he's sorting his thoughts out, wondering how to explain.]

Right before I got sucked into that portal... I saw you. It felt like it had been a long time... like, a really long time. [AS IN, CENTURIES.] You were telling me... that we'd been given bodies, so that we could fight a war. [He opens his eyes, but doesn't turn his head to look at Kashuu's face. He's staring absently into the distance, thinking about what the Kashuu in his memories had told him.] Kiyomitsu, I'm-- pretty sure we were these swords.

[He's quiet for another moment, then adds softly--] And I remembered... someone bringing me home, too. Not at the same time, that one came later on, but... I felt really happy about it, so it must've been him. The same person I keep seeing.

[Yasusada is staring out into the distance, and Kiyomitsu is staring down at him, but there's still a similar sort of absence in his look. It's...

Well, it's obviously not a surprise to him, for once. He'd had all the pieces he needed to put things together for so long, but he kept-- shoving it aside, trying not to look at it, trying to pretend that it wasn't a thing. And then everything went to shit and he had to deal with the harsh reality twice within as many weeks. Of the very strong probability that he'd once belonged to Soujirou in the way an object belongs to its owner. Of Baren, talking about spirit objects.

He still doesn't have the word for it - tsukumogami - but there's no real way he can keep denying what he does know.]

The Historical Retrograding Force - that's the name of the enemy we were summoned to fight. The war we were part of took place across time, since that army was made up of Historical Revisionists. They were trying to change the past.

[Some of that, he's known for a while. Other things, like the actual name of the army, are relatively new.]

...You're right, I think. No-- I'm almost sure. [A beat.] I remembered something like that too, a while ago. I just didn't really get what it meant back then, y'know? But it's like finding somewhere to belong. ...I think I know the person-- who that person was, I mean. For me, anyway. The one who picked me.

[His hands, which had stilled briefly, continue brushing through Yasusada's hair, carefully picking apart the tangles. He laughs, just a little.]

I think it might've been Soujirou. Weird, huh?

[It's when Kashuu starts speaking that Yasusada stills, taking in everything he's hearing. Now the urge to look at Kashuu is strong, but he stays where he is, unwilling to risk Kashuu pulling his fingers away. He hums quietly, a thoughtful sound of acknowledgement.

Finding somewhere to belong... yes, that's exactly what it felt like. Maybe it's something he shouldn't be admitting, but... he'd felt happier in that memory than he ever has at the dojo, even back during the golden days when all of them were together like a family. He doesn't think he's ever felt such a sense of love and devotion before--it's almost a little scary, even to him.]

Soujirou...? [He murmurs, and the curiosity wins out, urging him to turn his head and look at Kashuu's face.] Why do you say that?

[He doesn't pull his fingers away, even when Yasusada looks at him. There's a pause, for a second - a little hitch as he decides how he wants to proceed. A smile that doesn't quite fit follows, but his hands still pull through Yasusada's hair tenderly.]

He remembered the night I died, just... from another angle. Got a sword back that looked just like mine too, but broken.

[There's no way of definitely proving that it's the exact same, considering they'd both remembered different pieces of what could be the same night. But the sword had certainly been an undeniable connection, as massively discomforting as it was in about fifty different ways.]

[Ah...

His eyes soften at that, grey as they still are. It's enough to make him sit up, finally, gently extracting Kashuu's hands from his hair to hold them in his own.]

Are you okay? [It's a quiet question, one that means "I won't ask too much." But his gaze is still fixed on Kashuu's face, his stare no less intense than it's always been.]

[It's really a comfort, to hear that. After having to deal with so much on his own for so long - with the reverse being true, he's assuming, if Yasusada's immediate inclination to talk about it is anything to go by - it's nice to be able to share. Even if his answer is a predictable:]

Yeah, I'm fine.

[He's not, not really, but what can be done for it? Nothing, now. These are memories and he can't do anything for them.

What he can do is lean forward, pressing a quick kiss by one grey eye. The gates of hell are open and his affection is eternal...]

I missed seeing your stupid face like this, though.

[why]

—A-ny-way! That part's something we're still figuring out. [IE "we learned something was up and immediately decided not to talk about it".] More weird stuff happened after that, so it was kind of hard to focus on it.

[THE GATES OF HELL ARE TRULY OPEN it's gonna be like dealing with drunk Kashuu at all times now, isn't it...

But he can't even pretend to be annoyed. He smiles a little, even though the look on his face says that he clearly knows Kashuu's sidestepping, and he lifts one hand to brush against Kashuu's cheekbone, as if wiping away invisible tears.]

I missed your eyes a lot. [why is he like this: part 235 of the ongoing saga

But he does believe that too much was happening to really focus on it--that's what happened with him, after all. So with a flick to Kashuu's temple (because come on, clearly they're still up to being punks even after all of this??) he pulls his hands away, scooting back around so that Kashuu finally has proper access to his hair.]

Mm. We ended up in some kind of temple, too... and then up in a castle in the sky. [HE SOUNDS TIRED. He is tired. Why has life been like this for weeks.] The castle is where I had to fight... you know. And then we had to calm down the dragon so it would take us home.

[A SHORT SUMMARY but honestly Yasusada didn't get into nearly as much trouble as he could have. Small blessings...]

[How can he simultaneously be such a butthead and so endearing?? He makes a grumpy noise when his temple is flicked, but at least he's distracted by FINALLY BEING ABLE to brush Yasusada's hair out properly.

He doesn't say anything directly about the compliment, but there's an extra softness to his gestures.]

Ah, seriously? That sounds like something straight out of a movie... Normally people are supposed to slay the dragon at the end, though.

[GOOD THING THIS ONE WAS NICE.]

I'm pretty surprised you didn't get more beat up than this, if you did all of that.

[THE YASUSADA CONUNDRUM.

It's nice, though, and the only reason he doesn't slump back against Kashuu is that he's pretty sure Kashuu would just push him forward again. So he just lets his head loll forward instead, letting Kashuu take over and adjust him as he pleases.]

Mm. I thought we'd have to, but you know how Anya is... and a few other people insisted we shouldn't kill it, so we were lucky they had the right idea.

[Otherwise he'd probably just be squashed on the bottom of its foot right about now.

At that, though, he can't help a wry smile. He doesn't say anything, but he does reach back to tug the back of his shirt up a little--and low and behold, that's where the worst of the bruising is. It looks like... well, like he got thrown into a wall. Among other things.]

A lot of it already healed... I guess it takes more time if it's something bad. [Since he's only ever really paid attention to his healing powers with shallow wounds, not such deep bruising as this.]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject