okitactless | IC inbox; recolle

[THE YASUSADA CONUNDRUM.

It's nice, though, and the only reason he doesn't slump back against Kashuu is that he's pretty sure Kashuu would just push him forward again. So he just lets his head loll forward instead, letting Kashuu take over and adjust him as he pleases.]

Mm. I thought we'd have to, but you know how Anya is... and a few other people insisted we shouldn't kill it, so we were lucky they had the right idea.

[Otherwise he'd probably just be squashed on the bottom of its foot right about now.

At that, though, he can't help a wry smile. He doesn't say anything, but he does reach back to tug the back of his shirt up a little--and low and behold, that's where the worst of the bruising is. It looks like... well, like he got thrown into a wall. Among other things.]

A lot of it already healed... I guess it takes more time if it's something bad. [Since he's only ever really paid attention to his healing powers with shallow wounds, not such deep bruising as this.]

[GOOD THING FOR ANYA even though she chased monkeys around...

But he's definitely frowning at the sight of all those bruises. He can figure where it came from, of course, because this is Yasusada and he's never turned his back on a fight in all the years he's known him.

Carefully, he pulls the hand not holding the brush away from Yasusada's hair, drawing a delicate line down his back and over his spine.]

...Yeah, probably. I don't really get how it works yet, but I think the bigger something is, the longer it takes to go away.

[What a blessing, these strange abilities. He never thought he'd think that, but if it lessens Yasusada's discomfort or pain, then he can't be too angry about it.

That said, it sounds like the dragon was their final battle, and if Yasusada isn't skimping on the details, that seems to be the full of it. But just because this is Yasusada, he's gotta check:]

That's it, though, right? I'm not gonna get any surprises later?

[It's because she wouldn't let him fight the monkeys off from the start that they had to chase them in the first place!!

He doesn't jump or flinch at the touch, though, maybe because he'd expected it, maybe because Kashuu's hands are warm and soft and so blessedly familiar. It's still hitting him in small waves, just long they'd been apart--and it's probably going to keep hitting him for at least a few days. Is he going to barnacle onto Kashuu and refuse to even let him go grocery shopping?? maybe

For now, though, he's quiet, which is enough of an answer in and of itself. He could truthfully answer no--Yasusada isn't hiding any broken bones and he didn't smuggle home a monkey or anything. Still, it takes him a minute to find his voice, reluctant to speak of darkness and blood right now. But he's already broken one promise, he can't break another one.]

Do you remember that nightmare? [He doesn't stop to wait for an answer; Kashuu rarely forgets things like that.] I remembered more of that. Almost all of it, I think.

[There's the sound behind him of him taking a deep breath in and letting it out just as slowly. It's not really out of exasperation so much as exhaustion, felt both for himself and for Yasusada.

His hand raises then, briefly gracing the top of his shoulder. Then, he's back to brushing.]

I'm sorry I wasn't there.

[He can only hope that it wasn't too difficult for Yasusada to deal with on his own, and he hates that that's all he can do.]

Were you okay? ...D'you wanna talk about it?

[He knows better than to shake his head when Kashuu's working on him, but he makes a small sound of disagreement, reaching up to cover Kashuu's hand with his own. He doesn't grab it and refuse to let go, but only because he pretty much plans on flopping over and trapping Kashuu forever as soon as his hair's brushed out.

NOT REALLY (yes really)]

Don't be. I would've been too worried about you to fight well. [Which was already the case with Jack, but for entirely different reasons. Just the thought of Kashuu getting thrown across the room, slammed into a pile of debris, aggravating the wound that's already destroyed his life once--no matter how well they fight together, even Yasusada can see that he wouldn't have been at his best with Kashuu at his side. Not during that particular fight.

What he'd seen in his memory certainly wouldn't have helped, either. It's not even helping now, when he can feel Kashuu's hands on him and still worry they're too far apart.]

I did something stupid and made you cry. [There would be amusement in his voice about it, except there's nothing funny about that last part. If he closes his eyes, he can still see the tears on Kashuu's face, desperation ringing in his ears as Kashuu begs him to come home. From what he can gather, he'd followed that person (Soujirou...?), and though it had felt perfectly right in the moment, clearly it had been the wrong decision.

But he isn't sure how to put all of that in words, just yet. So instead he says:] And I saw us fighting those monsters together. We won, so I thought I'd be able to take on the one that showed up there, but... it was a lot stronger than I thought it would be.

[THANKS TY]

[He knows Yasusada telling the truth because he feels the same way, really. Hearing him recount his dangerous battles is already striking at unpleasant chords in him; if he had been there to see it all happen, he knows he'd have focused more on Yasusada than on the task at hand.

But that's no good.

He pulls the brush through Yasusada's hair a few more times before setting it down, scooting forward until his chest is pressed against his back. He slides his arms forward, curling them over Yasusada's waist, as if trying to banish the distance and reassure him all at once.]

Geez... You can't worry about me like that.

[Because they're... partners, aren't they? Of a sort. And as much as he would love, truly love, to run away from the possibility of ever having to use his sword again? Even he knows that's just wishful thinking at this point.

They'll probably have to fight together someday, just like his memories have been showing him. He's not really okay with that, but what can he do?

When Yasusada talks about making him cry, he just rests his head against the upper slope of his back.]

You're an idiot, so that's not surprising. [WHY IS HE SO RUDE.] ...Anyway, we're both getting stronger all the time, y'know? But don't just run off thinking you can take on the whole world. You're still supposed to come home, Yasu.

[An unintentional pale reflection of what he'd been crying about in Yasusada's memory.]

[Immediately, Yasusada leans back into the embrace, burying his face in the crook of Kashuu's neck. He breathes deeply, and maybe being sniffing creepers is just a Them thing, because immediately the tension drains out of his shoulders. He rests his hands on Kashuu's arms, and while his hold isn't tight, the air of don't let go is clear enough.

He doesn't bother arguing that he's going to worry no matter what. He always has, it's unchangeable fact at this point. Instead, he brushes a thumb reassuringly against the back of Kashuu's hand, nodding slightly.]

I know. I won't forget. [His voice is soft and serious.] You too, okay?

[Look it's fine, they could have creepier habits or quirks...]

I won't forget, either.

[It's not like either of them can promise that they'll never not come back. That, at this point, would be an untrue sort of optimism, which Kashuu doesn't often have the stomach for.

But he can at least promise that much, tucked away from the horrors of the last few weeks against someone he's probably always loved, who feels like such a familiar comfort.]

...I'm glad you made it through okay, though. It was a huuuge relief when I heard we were finally getting ready to help pull you guys back here.

[It's true, they could be Yato.

He shifts, twisting a little bit, just enough to be able to wrap his arms around Kashuu and press a reassuring kiss to his collarbone. Maybe it's weird to fall into such habits so easily, like it's completely natural--but then again, nothing about this has been "normal" to begin with. And anyway, it's not so different from how they've always been. Even if Yasusada had the energy to get flustered, he's always been, according to Kashuu, a "walking embarrassment".]

I never really thought we wouldn't. [He admits this almost sheepishly, like perhaps he should've truly been afraid. And he had been afraid, just... for very different reasons.] I mean, aside from the fighting and stuff. I was more worried about what was happening here... I didn't know there was a chance we wouldn't have been able to make it home.

[Not getting home had never been an option. Sure, he'd been afraid of getting killed, but that's different from the sort of "never coming home" Kashuu's mentioned.]

It seemed like we'd been expected, though. We found a camp and then we went to a cabin in the sky, and they both had stuff for us. The temple had an armory, too. [HENCE THE SECOND SWORD and his two daggers that are probably still in the doorway?? Yams that's not very nice to your new friends. But more importantly--] It always seemed like something was pushing us towards an end goal, so... I thought, once we made it there, we'd be home.

[And he'd been right, sort of. He hadn't anticipated a dragon, obviously... but still, his reasoning is sound. If that "end goal" hadn't been getting home, he would've just kept on going until he did find a way back. Simple as that.]

[HE IS A WALKING EMBARRASSMENT.

But Kashuu is too tired to even tsun properly... He wouldn't acknowledge how easily they slipped into this either, like they've been just a breath away from more intimate physical affections for years (because they have and they're just idiots). It's just nice to get the extra reassurance, really. He's always been a tactile person, and this is just as soothing - if not more - than actual words.]

I'm not surprised.

[And he isn't... He knows Yasusada!! He knows that this idiot sets his mind on things and doesn't ever consider failure an option! Kashuu had been the one worrying about him dying or getting wrapped up in some inescapable unreality instead, but that's not really unusual, either.

He sighs, tugging on Yasusada's hair.]

Geez... While you guys were out there camping- [Though he knows, of course, it wasn't that simple.] -we were running around dealing with stupid riddles and puzzles and spirits and magic and monsters all week. I grew gills for you, y'know.

[LET HIM LIVE.]

[LET HIM LIVE

But also, despite his very real concerns and the burning need to know what happened on Kashuu's end, Yasusada can't help but snort.]

We got kidnapped by a ghost Jeep, what's your point?

[Also, you know. THE DRAGON. Did he mention the dragon? Because there was a dragon.

Still, he isn't quite ready to shift all the way back to normal banter just yet. So he leans his head back enough to look at Kashuu's face, and his voice is a little softer when he speaks again.]

Tell me?

What happened to telling me everything, huh?

[GHOST JEEPS NOW what else, geez!! Will he find out Yasusada also wrestled a crocodile at some point?? Exhausting.

Either way, he glances down with a sort of tenderness in his expression, even if he's also exasperated as always.]

It was just a bunch of crazy stuff... I ran around in circles doing stupid missions and it felt like I was in a video game or something.

I told you the important stuff! It just wouldn't stop honking at us until we left the camp and let it take us to the temple.

[HE DID NOT WRESTLE A CROCODILE and honestly he deserves a reward for being so well-behaved thank you very much

But what the hell kind of vague explanation is that, huh?? Yasusada can't be bothered to lift his hand all the way up to tug on Kashuu's hair, so he settles for pinching Kashuu's side where his hands are resting--not hard enough to hurt, but enough to convey his message of "come on, seriously?"]

Now who's the one not talking about everything? [And now that he's clean, now that nothing is stopping from barnacling onto Kashuu and staying there forever, he can finally take the time to look over Kashuu's injuries. He doesn't bother to hide that he's checking, either, letting his gaze drift over every cut or bruise he can see with a small frown.]

Missions where you had to fight...?

You'd better not have brought any weird ghosts back home with you.

[NOT EVEN JEEP GHOSTS!!

But he makes a little disgruntled noise, smacking lightly at Yasusada's demonic pinching hands even if he doesn't actually intend to shoo him off. Not that he'd expect any shooing to work, anyway... His injuries aren't bad, in any case. The bruising is all minimal since his healing by this point is pretty decent. The surface scrapes left behind are just a reflection of the wear-and-tear on his blade, which he'll get fixed soon enough because Toshi is a blessing.]

Just a couple. The second week we ended up fighting this big underwater monster thingy after we had to solve a bunch of stupid riddles. The third week it was just the stupid riddles, and then my team got to talk to one of the founders after.

[He said nothing of immediate value... But he'll rehash those conversations - the ones with the founder and with Maurice both - soon enough.

For now, he should probably mention--]

...The first week, I had to fight three guys from the Retrograding Force. I'm pretty sure they were - yari, I think? I had some help with 'em, but that was the toughest battle.

Don't worry, I'll get the house purified.

[He's literally not even joking right now, stop him.

Despite how minor Kashuu's injuries seem to be, Yasusada's eyes linger on each and everyone of them, as if he's committing them to memory. In a way, he is--he's going to check on their healing progress about as often as Kashuu checks on his, and he won't stop worrying until every scrape and bruise is gone. Kashuu's no less beautiful to him like this, but as clueless as he is, he knows Kashuu won't see them the same way. It doesn't even occur to him that Kashuu might not care right now.

Predictably, he skips over everything but the last of that, looking at Kashuu with open concern.]

Three? [And he'd had that much trouble just with one...] Did they kind of glow blue?

[AND HERE HE, A FOOL, THINKS YASUSADA IS JOKING about purifying the house of all things. Good lord...

Either way, Kashuu will eventually slip into a state of Generally Unhappy with his remaining damage. For now, though, it really doesn't register at all. He's got it good compared to far too many people... That healing he'd been perplexed by kind of saved his ass this month.

As for the enemies, he shakes his head.]

Purple. But I'm almost entirely sure we're dealing with the same kind of thing.

[LITTLE DOES HIS ASS KNOW Yasusada ran into something entirely different... It's not his fault they look so similar, okay.]

[Kashuu you weren't apart for that long, please remember who you're talking to!!

He looks understandably troubled--he hadn't thrown himself into kendo for the sake of preparing for war, of all things. It makes sense that he was once a sword, of all things (because it's Yasusada, of course that makes sense), but he doesn't even want to think about the two of them constantly risking their lives on the battlefield, even with the small comfort that comes from knowing, in his heart, that they'd always fought together.

Closing his eyes, he drops his head back down to Kashuu's shoulder, sighing softly.]

I'm glad you're alright. [After that battle, in general, he means it in every possible way.] Nobody else recognized them?

[He just reaches for Yasusada's nose and tweaks it rudely. It's his way of both thanking him for the concern and also being like stop worrying without using words... Words are exhausting.]

Mm, nope. Maggie recorded it though, I'm pretty sure? In case you wanna see and confirm that we were really fighting against the same sort of thing.

[He doesn't think that's necessary, though. This is one of those situations where he's entirely sure that his gut assumption is the correct one...

After a brief beat of silence, he starts fiddling with Yasusada's hair again. This time, it's less out of necessity and more just for the comfort of the act, and to give his hands something to do.]

It's pretty crazy to think we used to fight stuff like that all the time, huh?

[Predictably, he shakes his head.]

It's okay, I trust you. [And he trusts their memories to remain interconnected, as they have been.

It's tempting, again, to just slump over, to lean all his body weight into Kashuu until they topple over and fall asleep just like that. Kashuu's hands are as soothing as they've ever been, especially now that his hair is as tamed as it's ever going to get. The familiarity is the best kind of first aid, and even though he knows they have more to talk about, he can't keep his eyes from drifting shut. His arms are still loose around Kashuu's waist, and he stays like that even as he makes a sound of affirmation.]

It's crazy that that's probably the least crazy part of all of it. [Which sounds confusing?? But he doesn't clarify, figuring Kashuu understands what he means.] I'm glad we really were together for it all, though. I guess we didn't really have a choice, but I know I wouldn't have been able to do it without you there.

[It's one of those things that he says with casual certainty, like it's a fact that isn't up for debate. Sword or not, beloved master or not, Yasusada's certain he wouldn't have made it through any of the horrors in his memories without the safety of Kashuu's presence beside him. He hasn't forgotten how painful it was, waiting for a face he'd known he'd never see again. He doesn't ever want to experience that again--and he certainly doesn't want Kashuu to, either.

He's quiet for a bit, then smiles, just a little.]

...We killed them pretty quickly, though. So we must've been pretty good.

[The atmosphere really is inviting in a "just take a nap you tired losers" way... And he's not going to ignore it, honestly. They've deserved their rest?? So after a second of hesitation, he just... flops over onto the bed, and pulls Yasusada down with him, reaching around him to try finding his blanket so he can pull it up. They might as well be comfortable while they discuss the absolute pile of insanity their respective lives have become, right?]

Mm, I should be the one saying that.

[He's never said it to Yasusada directly because of course he hasn't, but he's mentioned it to other people more than once - that he doesn't know what he'd do if Yasusada wasn't here with him. If he wasn't dealing with Retrospec, if he wasn't remembering the same things... He knows he's gotten lucky, compared to many. Soujirou will bring it up soon, too - his jealousy that the two of them get to remember things together, having familiar faces both in and out of those strange flashbacks.

He pulls himself closer to Yasusada.]

I guess you're right about that, too. I remember taking out one that was like, three times taller than me. [The oodachi at Honnouji, specifically.] Crazy, right?

[But all of this chatting about their memories has reminded him of several things he's been putting off addressing... Memories of being brought home by someone, for one, or of vying for the attention of someone he called "aruji". Even though he still doesn't want to touch any of that with a ten foot pole, it reminds him of a more recent development that he probably should bring up.]

Mm— There's something else I wanna tell you, though. While you were gone, Baren kinda, like... asked me to be his sword? And I agreed.

[@god why are they like this]

[DOWN THEY GO, another idiot pile, but in much better circumstances this time. He doesn't help Kashuu with the blanket at all, instead shifting to press as close as possible, until he's practically half-draped over Kashuu's body in a reversal of how they'd been just a little earlier. It's much nicer like this, though--no blood, no tears, just the pure relief of being exactly where he wants to be.

He just hums in response to most of that, acknowledgment without any particular judgment one way or the other. He won't deny that it's nice to hear it. Even with how overwhelming Kashuu's raw honesty has been, he can't help but feel a little warmed by it, when it comes like this. But even if he hadn't thought about it too much, a part of him had already known how Kashuu felt. They're different in so many ways, but that doesn't mean they don't understand each other.

...Of course, that's when Kashuu has to ruin everything.

He blinks his eyes open before he can help it, wondering briefly if he'd misheard. Slowly, he lifts his head, looking at Kashuu's face with a mixture of confusion and disbelief on his own.]

...Ha?

[HERE HE IS, RUINING THEIR CUTE CUDDLE MOMENT. They haven't even had a proper confession, what the fuck. Why do they do everything wrong. This is why they're perfect for each other though, honestly.

ANYWAY.

Yeah he's just looking-- caught somewhere between sheepish and that preemptively offended look he sometimes gets when he knows he's done something stupid but feels the need to defend his decisions anyway. He makes his face a lot.]

...That's pretty much it. [As if it's that simple?!] He asked if I'd be his sword and he just, like... He was so serious about it? So I just said yes.

[THEY DO EVERYTHING WRONG and it would be weird if they didn't?! Something's wrong with the universe if they actually do something right, let's be real.

BUT YEAH NO KASHUU IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE?!]

What do you mean "that's it", that doesn't explain anything! [Kashuu!! He's halfway sitting up again now, looking halfway offended just because this is Baren they're talking about, SAVE HIM.] Why would he-- why did you--? Maybe you're a sword but you're a person too, he can't just ask something like that--

[THE IRONY, IT BURNS]

[THIS IS very true...

He also reaches up for Yasusada's dang head as he starts sitting upright again, pulling him back down.]

It's not like I agreed to belong to him or anything. [Kashuu that is ex-fuckin-actly what you did.] It's more like... we're partners now, I guess? He said it makes sense 'cause he was a samurai and I was a sword. He needed someone to trust and have his back out there, you know? I told him that sort of thing is what friends do for each other anyway, but that guy... Mm, well. He's the kinda guy who likes more tangible things than that, I think.

[Kashuu is also a cheating cheater who has resumed petting Yasusada's hair in an attempt to calm him down a bit and/or distract him.]

[WHAT A CHEATING CHEATER because it absolutely works... Kashuu's always able to smooth over even his worst feelings like this, and even his indignation and anger can't help him resist the urge to lay right back down. He's still obviously grumbling though?! He may be easy to push around but that ain't gonna turn his mouth off.]

Hmph. Why doesn't he just get his own sword then? He should already know you're stupid enough to take care of him as it is. He didn't have to make you "his".

[yams stop except he's not going to stop, he's going to make it worse--]

If you were going to belong to anybody it would be me. [OBVIOUSLY.]

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kashuu why you gotta ruin cuddle time

stop let him live

no he's gotta go

YAMS GOES FIRST

not historically also 1/2