okitactless | IC inbox; recolle

[SURE HE CAN come on Kashuu you're a beauty guru figure it out

But yes, Yasusada can feel that frown, and he's too tired to even flinch away from it. He doesn't like upsetting Kashuu, especially when it's something as uncontrollable as this, but it can't be helped. Besides, it wasn't like he jumped in on purpose.

He doesn't answer right away, and with his careful breathing, it probably looks like he's fallen asleep. But he isn't--he's sorting his thoughts out, wondering how to explain.]

Right before I got sucked into that portal... I saw you. It felt like it had been a long time... like, a really long time. [AS IN, CENTURIES.] You were telling me... that we'd been given bodies, so that we could fight a war. [He opens his eyes, but doesn't turn his head to look at Kashuu's face. He's staring absently into the distance, thinking about what the Kashuu in his memories had told him.] Kiyomitsu, I'm-- pretty sure we were these swords.

[He's quiet for another moment, then adds softly--] And I remembered... someone bringing me home, too. Not at the same time, that one came later on, but... I felt really happy about it, so it must've been him. The same person I keep seeing.

[Yasusada is staring out into the distance, and Kiyomitsu is staring down at him, but there's still a similar sort of absence in his look. It's...

Well, it's obviously not a surprise to him, for once. He'd had all the pieces he needed to put things together for so long, but he kept-- shoving it aside, trying not to look at it, trying to pretend that it wasn't a thing. And then everything went to shit and he had to deal with the harsh reality twice within as many weeks. Of the very strong probability that he'd once belonged to Soujirou in the way an object belongs to its owner. Of Baren, talking about spirit objects.

He still doesn't have the word for it - tsukumogami - but there's no real way he can keep denying what he does know.]

The Historical Retrograding Force - that's the name of the enemy we were summoned to fight. The war we were part of took place across time, since that army was made up of Historical Revisionists. They were trying to change the past.

[Some of that, he's known for a while. Other things, like the actual name of the army, are relatively new.]

...You're right, I think. No-- I'm almost sure. [A beat.] I remembered something like that too, a while ago. I just didn't really get what it meant back then, y'know? But it's like finding somewhere to belong. ...I think I know the person-- who that person was, I mean. For me, anyway. The one who picked me.

[His hands, which had stilled briefly, continue brushing through Yasusada's hair, carefully picking apart the tangles. He laughs, just a little.]

I think it might've been Soujirou. Weird, huh?

[It's when Kashuu starts speaking that Yasusada stills, taking in everything he's hearing. Now the urge to look at Kashuu is strong, but he stays where he is, unwilling to risk Kashuu pulling his fingers away. He hums quietly, a thoughtful sound of acknowledgement.

Finding somewhere to belong... yes, that's exactly what it felt like. Maybe it's something he shouldn't be admitting, but... he'd felt happier in that memory than he ever has at the dojo, even back during the golden days when all of them were together like a family. He doesn't think he's ever felt such a sense of love and devotion before--it's almost a little scary, even to him.]

Soujirou...? [He murmurs, and the curiosity wins out, urging him to turn his head and look at Kashuu's face.] Why do you say that?

[He doesn't pull his fingers away, even when Yasusada looks at him. There's a pause, for a second - a little hitch as he decides how he wants to proceed. A smile that doesn't quite fit follows, but his hands still pull through Yasusada's hair tenderly.]

He remembered the night I died, just... from another angle. Got a sword back that looked just like mine too, but broken.

[There's no way of definitely proving that it's the exact same, considering they'd both remembered different pieces of what could be the same night. But the sword had certainly been an undeniable connection, as massively discomforting as it was in about fifty different ways.]

[Ah...

His eyes soften at that, grey as they still are. It's enough to make him sit up, finally, gently extracting Kashuu's hands from his hair to hold them in his own.]

Are you okay? [It's a quiet question, one that means "I won't ask too much." But his gaze is still fixed on Kashuu's face, his stare no less intense than it's always been.]

[It's really a comfort, to hear that. After having to deal with so much on his own for so long - with the reverse being true, he's assuming, if Yasusada's immediate inclination to talk about it is anything to go by - it's nice to be able to share. Even if his answer is a predictable:]

Yeah, I'm fine.

[He's not, not really, but what can be done for it? Nothing, now. These are memories and he can't do anything for them.

What he can do is lean forward, pressing a quick kiss by one grey eye. The gates of hell are open and his affection is eternal...]

I missed seeing your stupid face like this, though.

[why]

—A-ny-way! That part's something we're still figuring out. [IE "we learned something was up and immediately decided not to talk about it".] More weird stuff happened after that, so it was kind of hard to focus on it.

[THE GATES OF HELL ARE TRULY OPEN it's gonna be like dealing with drunk Kashuu at all times now, isn't it...

But he can't even pretend to be annoyed. He smiles a little, even though the look on his face says that he clearly knows Kashuu's sidestepping, and he lifts one hand to brush against Kashuu's cheekbone, as if wiping away invisible tears.]

I missed your eyes a lot. [why is he like this: part 235 of the ongoing saga

But he does believe that too much was happening to really focus on it--that's what happened with him, after all. So with a flick to Kashuu's temple (because come on, clearly they're still up to being punks even after all of this??) he pulls his hands away, scooting back around so that Kashuu finally has proper access to his hair.]

Mm. We ended up in some kind of temple, too... and then up in a castle in the sky. [HE SOUNDS TIRED. He is tired. Why has life been like this for weeks.] The castle is where I had to fight... you know. And then we had to calm down the dragon so it would take us home.

[A SHORT SUMMARY but honestly Yasusada didn't get into nearly as much trouble as he could have. Small blessings...]

[How can he simultaneously be such a butthead and so endearing?? He makes a grumpy noise when his temple is flicked, but at least he's distracted by FINALLY BEING ABLE to brush Yasusada's hair out properly.

He doesn't say anything directly about the compliment, but there's an extra softness to his gestures.]

Ah, seriously? That sounds like something straight out of a movie... Normally people are supposed to slay the dragon at the end, though.

[GOOD THING THIS ONE WAS NICE.]

I'm pretty surprised you didn't get more beat up than this, if you did all of that.

[THE YASUSADA CONUNDRUM.

It's nice, though, and the only reason he doesn't slump back against Kashuu is that he's pretty sure Kashuu would just push him forward again. So he just lets his head loll forward instead, letting Kashuu take over and adjust him as he pleases.]

Mm. I thought we'd have to, but you know how Anya is... and a few other people insisted we shouldn't kill it, so we were lucky they had the right idea.

[Otherwise he'd probably just be squashed on the bottom of its foot right about now.

At that, though, he can't help a wry smile. He doesn't say anything, but he does reach back to tug the back of his shirt up a little--and low and behold, that's where the worst of the bruising is. It looks like... well, like he got thrown into a wall. Among other things.]

A lot of it already healed... I guess it takes more time if it's something bad. [Since he's only ever really paid attention to his healing powers with shallow wounds, not such deep bruising as this.]

[GOOD THING FOR ANYA even though she chased monkeys around...

But he's definitely frowning at the sight of all those bruises. He can figure where it came from, of course, because this is Yasusada and he's never turned his back on a fight in all the years he's known him.

Carefully, he pulls the hand not holding the brush away from Yasusada's hair, drawing a delicate line down his back and over his spine.]

...Yeah, probably. I don't really get how it works yet, but I think the bigger something is, the longer it takes to go away.

[What a blessing, these strange abilities. He never thought he'd think that, but if it lessens Yasusada's discomfort or pain, then he can't be too angry about it.

That said, it sounds like the dragon was their final battle, and if Yasusada isn't skimping on the details, that seems to be the full of it. But just because this is Yasusada, he's gotta check:]

That's it, though, right? I'm not gonna get any surprises later?

[It's because she wouldn't let him fight the monkeys off from the start that they had to chase them in the first place!!

He doesn't jump or flinch at the touch, though, maybe because he'd expected it, maybe because Kashuu's hands are warm and soft and so blessedly familiar. It's still hitting him in small waves, just long they'd been apart--and it's probably going to keep hitting him for at least a few days. Is he going to barnacle onto Kashuu and refuse to even let him go grocery shopping?? maybe

For now, though, he's quiet, which is enough of an answer in and of itself. He could truthfully answer no--Yasusada isn't hiding any broken bones and he didn't smuggle home a monkey or anything. Still, it takes him a minute to find his voice, reluctant to speak of darkness and blood right now. But he's already broken one promise, he can't break another one.]

Do you remember that nightmare? [He doesn't stop to wait for an answer; Kashuu rarely forgets things like that.] I remembered more of that. Almost all of it, I think.

[There's the sound behind him of him taking a deep breath in and letting it out just as slowly. It's not really out of exasperation so much as exhaustion, felt both for himself and for Yasusada.

His hand raises then, briefly gracing the top of his shoulder. Then, he's back to brushing.]

I'm sorry I wasn't there.

[He can only hope that it wasn't too difficult for Yasusada to deal with on his own, and he hates that that's all he can do.]

Were you okay? ...D'you wanna talk about it?

[He knows better than to shake his head when Kashuu's working on him, but he makes a small sound of disagreement, reaching up to cover Kashuu's hand with his own. He doesn't grab it and refuse to let go, but only because he pretty much plans on flopping over and trapping Kashuu forever as soon as his hair's brushed out.

NOT REALLY (yes really)]

Don't be. I would've been too worried about you to fight well. [Which was already the case with Jack, but for entirely different reasons. Just the thought of Kashuu getting thrown across the room, slammed into a pile of debris, aggravating the wound that's already destroyed his life once--no matter how well they fight together, even Yasusada can see that he wouldn't have been at his best with Kashuu at his side. Not during that particular fight.

What he'd seen in his memory certainly wouldn't have helped, either. It's not even helping now, when he can feel Kashuu's hands on him and still worry they're too far apart.]

I did something stupid and made you cry. [There would be amusement in his voice about it, except there's nothing funny about that last part. If he closes his eyes, he can still see the tears on Kashuu's face, desperation ringing in his ears as Kashuu begs him to come home. From what he can gather, he'd followed that person (Soujirou...?), and though it had felt perfectly right in the moment, clearly it had been the wrong decision.

But he isn't sure how to put all of that in words, just yet. So instead he says:] And I saw us fighting those monsters together. We won, so I thought I'd be able to take on the one that showed up there, but... it was a lot stronger than I thought it would be.

[THANKS TY]

[He knows Yasusada telling the truth because he feels the same way, really. Hearing him recount his dangerous battles is already striking at unpleasant chords in him; if he had been there to see it all happen, he knows he'd have focused more on Yasusada than on the task at hand.

But that's no good.

He pulls the brush through Yasusada's hair a few more times before setting it down, scooting forward until his chest is pressed against his back. He slides his arms forward, curling them over Yasusada's waist, as if trying to banish the distance and reassure him all at once.]

Geez... You can't worry about me like that.

[Because they're... partners, aren't they? Of a sort. And as much as he would love, truly love, to run away from the possibility of ever having to use his sword again? Even he knows that's just wishful thinking at this point.

They'll probably have to fight together someday, just like his memories have been showing him. He's not really okay with that, but what can he do?

When Yasusada talks about making him cry, he just rests his head against the upper slope of his back.]

You're an idiot, so that's not surprising. [WHY IS HE SO RUDE.] ...Anyway, we're both getting stronger all the time, y'know? But don't just run off thinking you can take on the whole world. You're still supposed to come home, Yasu.

[An unintentional pale reflection of what he'd been crying about in Yasusada's memory.]

[Immediately, Yasusada leans back into the embrace, burying his face in the crook of Kashuu's neck. He breathes deeply, and maybe being sniffing creepers is just a Them thing, because immediately the tension drains out of his shoulders. He rests his hands on Kashuu's arms, and while his hold isn't tight, the air of don't let go is clear enough.

He doesn't bother arguing that he's going to worry no matter what. He always has, it's unchangeable fact at this point. Instead, he brushes a thumb reassuringly against the back of Kashuu's hand, nodding slightly.]

I know. I won't forget. [His voice is soft and serious.] You too, okay?

[Look it's fine, they could have creepier habits or quirks...]

I won't forget, either.

[It's not like either of them can promise that they'll never not come back. That, at this point, would be an untrue sort of optimism, which Kashuu doesn't often have the stomach for.

But he can at least promise that much, tucked away from the horrors of the last few weeks against someone he's probably always loved, who feels like such a familiar comfort.]

...I'm glad you made it through okay, though. It was a huuuge relief when I heard we were finally getting ready to help pull you guys back here.

[It's true, they could be Yato.

He shifts, twisting a little bit, just enough to be able to wrap his arms around Kashuu and press a reassuring kiss to his collarbone. Maybe it's weird to fall into such habits so easily, like it's completely natural--but then again, nothing about this has been "normal" to begin with. And anyway, it's not so different from how they've always been. Even if Yasusada had the energy to get flustered, he's always been, according to Kashuu, a "walking embarrassment".]

I never really thought we wouldn't. [He admits this almost sheepishly, like perhaps he should've truly been afraid. And he had been afraid, just... for very different reasons.] I mean, aside from the fighting and stuff. I was more worried about what was happening here... I didn't know there was a chance we wouldn't have been able to make it home.

[Not getting home had never been an option. Sure, he'd been afraid of getting killed, but that's different from the sort of "never coming home" Kashuu's mentioned.]

It seemed like we'd been expected, though. We found a camp and then we went to a cabin in the sky, and they both had stuff for us. The temple had an armory, too. [HENCE THE SECOND SWORD and his two daggers that are probably still in the doorway?? Yams that's not very nice to your new friends. But more importantly--] It always seemed like something was pushing us towards an end goal, so... I thought, once we made it there, we'd be home.

[And he'd been right, sort of. He hadn't anticipated a dragon, obviously... but still, his reasoning is sound. If that "end goal" hadn't been getting home, he would've just kept on going until he did find a way back. Simple as that.]

[HE IS A WALKING EMBARRASSMENT.

But Kashuu is too tired to even tsun properly... He wouldn't acknowledge how easily they slipped into this either, like they've been just a breath away from more intimate physical affections for years (because they have and they're just idiots). It's just nice to get the extra reassurance, really. He's always been a tactile person, and this is just as soothing - if not more - than actual words.]

I'm not surprised.

[And he isn't... He knows Yasusada!! He knows that this idiot sets his mind on things and doesn't ever consider failure an option! Kashuu had been the one worrying about him dying or getting wrapped up in some inescapable unreality instead, but that's not really unusual, either.

He sighs, tugging on Yasusada's hair.]

Geez... While you guys were out there camping- [Though he knows, of course, it wasn't that simple.] -we were running around dealing with stupid riddles and puzzles and spirits and magic and monsters all week. I grew gills for you, y'know.

[LET HIM LIVE.]

[LET HIM LIVE

But also, despite his very real concerns and the burning need to know what happened on Kashuu's end, Yasusada can't help but snort.]

We got kidnapped by a ghost Jeep, what's your point?

[Also, you know. THE DRAGON. Did he mention the dragon? Because there was a dragon.

Still, he isn't quite ready to shift all the way back to normal banter just yet. So he leans his head back enough to look at Kashuu's face, and his voice is a little softer when he speaks again.]

Tell me?

What happened to telling me everything, huh?

[GHOST JEEPS NOW what else, geez!! Will he find out Yasusada also wrestled a crocodile at some point?? Exhausting.

Either way, he glances down with a sort of tenderness in his expression, even if he's also exasperated as always.]

It was just a bunch of crazy stuff... I ran around in circles doing stupid missions and it felt like I was in a video game or something.

I told you the important stuff! It just wouldn't stop honking at us until we left the camp and let it take us to the temple.

[HE DID NOT WRESTLE A CROCODILE and honestly he deserves a reward for being so well-behaved thank you very much

But what the hell kind of vague explanation is that, huh?? Yasusada can't be bothered to lift his hand all the way up to tug on Kashuu's hair, so he settles for pinching Kashuu's side where his hands are resting--not hard enough to hurt, but enough to convey his message of "come on, seriously?"]

Now who's the one not talking about everything? [And now that he's clean, now that nothing is stopping from barnacling onto Kashuu and staying there forever, he can finally take the time to look over Kashuu's injuries. He doesn't bother to hide that he's checking, either, letting his gaze drift over every cut or bruise he can see with a small frown.]

Missions where you had to fight...?

You'd better not have brought any weird ghosts back home with you.

[NOT EVEN JEEP GHOSTS!!

But he makes a little disgruntled noise, smacking lightly at Yasusada's demonic pinching hands even if he doesn't actually intend to shoo him off. Not that he'd expect any shooing to work, anyway... His injuries aren't bad, in any case. The bruising is all minimal since his healing by this point is pretty decent. The surface scrapes left behind are just a reflection of the wear-and-tear on his blade, which he'll get fixed soon enough because Toshi is a blessing.]

Just a couple. The second week we ended up fighting this big underwater monster thingy after we had to solve a bunch of stupid riddles. The third week it was just the stupid riddles, and then my team got to talk to one of the founders after.

[He said nothing of immediate value... But he'll rehash those conversations - the ones with the founder and with Maurice both - soon enough.

For now, he should probably mention--]

...The first week, I had to fight three guys from the Retrograding Force. I'm pretty sure they were - yari, I think? I had some help with 'em, but that was the toughest battle.

Don't worry, I'll get the house purified.

[He's literally not even joking right now, stop him.

Despite how minor Kashuu's injuries seem to be, Yasusada's eyes linger on each and everyone of them, as if he's committing them to memory. In a way, he is--he's going to check on their healing progress about as often as Kashuu checks on his, and he won't stop worrying until every scrape and bruise is gone. Kashuu's no less beautiful to him like this, but as clueless as he is, he knows Kashuu won't see them the same way. It doesn't even occur to him that Kashuu might not care right now.

Predictably, he skips over everything but the last of that, looking at Kashuu with open concern.]

Three? [And he'd had that much trouble just with one...] Did they kind of glow blue?

[AND HERE HE, A FOOL, THINKS YASUSADA IS JOKING about purifying the house of all things. Good lord...

Either way, Kashuu will eventually slip into a state of Generally Unhappy with his remaining damage. For now, though, it really doesn't register at all. He's got it good compared to far too many people... That healing he'd been perplexed by kind of saved his ass this month.

As for the enemies, he shakes his head.]

Purple. But I'm almost entirely sure we're dealing with the same kind of thing.

[LITTLE DOES HIS ASS KNOW Yasusada ran into something entirely different... It's not his fault they look so similar, okay.]

[Kashuu you weren't apart for that long, please remember who you're talking to!!

He looks understandably troubled--he hadn't thrown himself into kendo for the sake of preparing for war, of all things. It makes sense that he was once a sword, of all things (because it's Yasusada, of course that makes sense), but he doesn't even want to think about the two of them constantly risking their lives on the battlefield, even with the small comfort that comes from knowing, in his heart, that they'd always fought together.

Closing his eyes, he drops his head back down to Kashuu's shoulder, sighing softly.]

I'm glad you're alright. [After that battle, in general, he means it in every possible way.] Nobody else recognized them?

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