okitactless | IC inbox; recolle

[He's only half paying attention as Yamato rambles on about birthdays and lighters, instead moving to pick up the candles too so he can start to arrange them safely on the counter and light them.

Which is, of course, interrupted halfway through because Yamato Yamatos.]

Don't be so dramatic. You just stubbed it, didn't you?

[WHY IS HE SUCH A BABY. Throws himself headfirst into brawls like it ain't no thing and then whines about papercuts or stubbed toes like it's the end of the world...]

Get over near the light so I can see it.

[And yet his dumb ass indulges him, anyway.]

But it really hurts... [Look, at least you're expecting it when you get punched in the gut in a fight?? Whereas rudeass table legs just come out of nowhere to attack the innocent and unsuspecting. Ugh, furniture.

But he hobbles over obediently, albeit whining softly the whole way. A TRUE BABY but look, Kashuu's encouraging this behavior, it's not his fault.

Apparently it doesn't hurt enough to complain for that long, though, since as soon as Kashuu's examining his poor toe, he sighs.]

I hope the power's not out too long. Our food's gonna go bad.

[UGH LOOK STOP he can't not encourage this behavior?! He may be totally aware of the fact that he's a spoiled brat, but he spoils Yamato more than he realizes...

But with the candles lit and secured, he'll go take a look at his stupid baby foot to make sure his toenails aren't hanging off or something. There's not even a scrape?! GOD.]

It's just red, it should be fine. Grab some ice now if you want some, 'cause we shouldn't open the doors again until the power comes back. [As if that'll make a huge difference in the longevity of the poor food inside...] Who knows how long this'll last.

[The moral of the story is that they're both giant babies and it's kind of a miracle they've survived this long.

He hmphs, though, hobbling over to the fridge to do just that. Luckily he'd made some janky ice packs out of ziploc bags back when they first moved in, so he doesn't have to rummage around too much. It doesn't even really hurt that much anymore, but still... HE STARTED THIS DRAMATICALLY AND HE'S GOTTA SEE IT THROUGH.

But once he's settled at the table, holding the ice pack to his foot, he says quietly:]

You're not a disappointment, Kiyomitsu. You know that, right?

[And there it is.]

[It's a literal miracle they've survived this long...

Anyway, he'll watch over Yamato's journey to the center of the freezer carefully, moving to sit across from him at the table once he's icing his foot. And naturally, THERE IT IS, and there Kashuu's expression goes, briefly flatlining before springing back to life in eye-rolling haughtiness.]

I don't need you telling me something I already know. It's probably just that stupid app being weird again.

[Whatever! Clearly it doesn't bother him!!]

[He can't see Kashuu's expression all that well in the candlelight, but he knows Kashuu well enough by now that he doesn't really have to. He stifles a sigh, ignoring the posturing and the dismissive tone as usual.]

You say that, but you always change the subject whenever I try to bring it up. ["so maybe you should stop bringing it up" except this is yams and that suggestion is absurd.] How would that app even do something like that in the first place? It's just a social media thing.

["YOU ALWAYS CHANGE THE SUBJECT WHENEVER I TRY TO BRING IT UP" says Yamato, as if he doesn't expect Kashuu to take the wide opening presented to him to do exactly that.]

It's been doing a lot of weird things lately, hasn't it? And d'you remember that dream you had a while back with the clip or whatever? A bunch of people who have the app have been having dreams like that. I think they're calling 'em hallucinomemories 'cause they're so realistic.

[Ugh, Kashuu, don't get into his superstitions... the one thing that'll actually distract him from needling at Kashuu!!]

If a stupid app is affecting our dreams then we have a much bigger problem on our hands than somebody trying to make you feel bad.

[HE KNOWS HOW TO PLAY THE GAME.]

If you didn't think we had a huge problem on our hands the second horses vanished right outta existence, I dunno what to tell you.

I didn't think that was connected to any of this!

[He still has his doubts, mostly because he has no clue about the actual capabilities of an app, but erasing the existence of an animal seems like too much of a reach.]

Isn't it more likely that it's something in the water?

Something in the water that's only affecting people who have that app?

[HE GETS IT. He too was skeptic for ages, especially when Dave mentioned nearly right after chocobos first became a Thing that the app was the common tie between people who remembered horses. But between that, the hallucinomemories, the general Sketchiness of Retrospec's headquarters, the returned items, the changes people are going through...

Well, he's putting his tin hat on. Remember him.]

[It's a shame these two would never stock up on the right supplies, because then they'd never have to leave and could sit around in their tin hats in peace.]

I just think it's too weird, an app causing all of this. It's not like we're putting on VR headsets or anything. [He's willing to concede a connection, but the app itself being the cause of all this? Nah.] Maybe that's a key part of it, but there's got to be something behind it, some source for... whatever's going on.

[On the plus side, at least they remembered that candles are important.]

Like the company? That's what I'm saying. Even if it's not the actual app, it's definitely the people who made it. ...Or at least I'm pretty sure. I mean, it's way too much of a coincidence for all these things to only be happening to us, yeah?

[With a little huff, he reaches across the table while he's talking to fix Yamato's bangs. It's an idle gesture, but also one he usually saves for when he's agitated or anxious.]

[Yeah, probably because they all smell like ~*~ocean breeze~*~ and ~*~fairy breath~*~ for Kashuu's #aesthetic.

It's been a long time since Kashuu was upset enough to fall into this habit, and that, more than anything, is what finally elicits serious concern. All of this is so terribly absurd that even Yasusada "I won't live in apartment 409 unless you get a priest in here to purify it" Yamato wants to brush it off, but if it's upsetting Kashuu this much, then maybe it's time to take it seriously.

He scoots closer automatically; first to make it easier for Kashuu to reach him, but then to slump against his side with a sigh. Something about this still feels... off, somehow, but Yamato's always been very good at simply denying things he doesn't like, so it could very well be the consideration itself that's throwing him off. Either way, he doesn't like it; he's never been quite as tactile as Kashuu, but he's also never respected Kashuu's personal space, either.]

If it is just us... what could we even do about it? All I can think of is that I want to break your phone. [Of course that's all he can think of. YAMS PLS... but look, it was being mean? So it's gotta go. BYE RUDEASS PHONE.]

[LEAVE HIS AESTHETIC ALONE?! So what if he needs 100 different candles with increasingly bizarre names, at least their apartment smells bomb okay.

Anyway, Kashuu's usually pretty good at brushing things under the rug too, but reacting to Sudden Surprises is something he's less apt at coping with in the immediate aftermath. Maybe that's why Retrospec comes after his ass first with like 3 regains in one night... For now, though, he feels a little better already because - being the tactile person he is - this is a comfort when things are starting to shift and change in an unpleasant way around them. It's easier to brush them aside when he feels like he isn't alone.

He also rudely tugs at Yamato's bangs, but then reaches up to pat his head and ruffle his hair a little. A silent way of saying thanks, of showing that he feels a little better.]

No idea, but you're not breaking my phone. I still need that.

[EVEN IF IT IS BEING MEAN.]

[NEVER

They're useful right now, though, so he gets a pass this time. Yamato chomps halfheartedly at his hand, but then rests his head on Kashuu's shoulder, totally negating the non-threat.]

...I don't like it though. [Chocohorses, identity stealing apps, magnetic necklaces... yeah, they're all weird and kind of scary. But this, whoever or whatever programmed that "feature", it's way too personal. And that's unacceptable. Yamato's a lot of things, but nobody could ever say he doesn't care about his loved ones.]

[RUDE... Double rude?! He needs his hand, what the heck, don't make like a terrifying horse and bite at it.

Pomesada really is his favorite though, okay. He doesn't do anything sappy like resting his head in turn, but he kind of strokes Yamato's head a few more times like one might do with a pet before he reaches for his phone again. STILL DEAD... Which definitely is weird, but at least it can't spit rude things at him like this.]

It's not bothering you right now, yeah? It'll be fine.

[HE SAYS, only feeling secure enough to say that now that he's the one doing the reassuring.]

[WELL DON'T PULL HIS HAIR THEN PUNK

But it helps, it really does, when Kashuu is the one under control. Yamato's the older one, and definitely the one who took charge when they were kids, literally dragging Kashuu home from the street. He wouldn't be able to pinpoint a turning point even if he'd wanted to, but somehow, it feels better when Kashuu's the voice of reason. As if Kashuu's presence is more solid, stronger--easier to lean on than his own.

...Still, there are definitely times when Kashuu needs support, and not in the everyday reassurances of attractiveness. When he won't admit to needing it, Yamato thinks, that's when he needs it the most--much to Kashuu's chagrin, probably.

Quietly, he reaches over, resting his hand on Kashuu's and tapping the screen lightly.]

But it's bothering you. [It isn't a question--he already knows what the answer would be if it was.]

Edited (noooo I lost the icon I was gonna use HAVE THIS ONE INSTEAD) 2017-03-14 04:22 (UTC)

[It works out for both of them that way, at least... Kashuu feels better when he's the one doing the leading and reassuring, when he's the one who has the answers (or can at least pretend), when he's the one supporting. They fit into their respective roles nicely, at least; he provides what he can for Yamato and Yamato fills what he's missing in return.

But Yamato also has an annoying habit of poking exactly when Kashuu doesn't want him to. Thanks Yamato. He doesn't like admitting when he's really truly bothered by something, probably because it takes a semblance of that control away. Retrospec has already gotten under his skin more than enough times over the last month that he's reluctant to admit to being upset now, even though he's clearly willing to tinhat about lesser offenses all day.]

It's not. That isn't even true, so why would it bother me?

[Maybe because he's a lying liar who lies.]

Kiyomitsu.

[How is it that in every lifetime, Yamato learns how to perfect That Tone... the exact one he's using now, along with another tap, this time on Kashuu's knuckles.]

You weren't gone for that long, you know. [And even if he had been, Yamato probably would've remembered all of this anyway. It had hurt, back when he'd had nothing but memories to hold onto, but he'd held on so tightly that he couldn't possibly forget what Kashuu's like. Both the good, and the bad. "I know you" and "you aren't fooling me" go unspoken, save for the tone of his voice, since he hasn't lifted his head to give Kashuu a knowing look.]

[Ah, That Tone™... The one that makes him want to flinch and withdraw and punch Yamato all at the same time. He does none of those things in this case, keeping his hands still even as they're tapped at.

He's perfected a tone of his own, though. The beginnings of a cool anger, the smallest sharp edge, like he hopes just a few barbs will be enough to dissuade anyone from prying. As if it works on Yamato, who he knows (unfortunately, he'd say) just as well as Yamato knows him.]

You're really good at pissing me off, you know.

[But beneath that edge, there's a strange sort of softness. He doesn't push Yamato away, simply flexing his fingers twice instead and sighing.]

[If it worked on Yamato, their relationship would be a lot simpler. Kashuu might exaggerate a lot of things for the sake of complaining, but he's not wrong about this--Yamato has never, ever learned when to stop pushing. Either he doesn't notice, or he just doesn't care, but either way, he never stops until the line has already been crossed.]

I wouldn't have to be if you'd just talk to me. [There's no point in denying it, and no shame on his part for it, either. It's the only way he knows how to react when Kashuu closes off like this, pulling away into a place he can't follow.]

I don't wanna talk about it.

[It's about as direct as he ever gets when it comes to topics like this. When he reaches the end of his rope, or the extent of his ability to gracefully dart and toe around unsavory subjects, he only has a few paths of action left to fall back on. He can either say it directly and hope it'll be enough to dissuade Yamato from pressing (a rare occurrence), or he can get up and physically remove himself from the conversation.

Which isn't exactly an option right now, unless he feels like tripping around in the dark.]

You never want to talk about it.

[It's simple fact, but his tone makes it seem like a personal attack, with how dejected he sounds. He gets it, of course. It's not like he can't understand why Kashuu is the way he is. But for him, the past is nothing but a treasure--it houses the memories of their first meeting, of all the time they spent together, of how close they were and what good partner-opponents they made.

Kashuu and Soujirou's departures began the slow destruction of their little family, and Yamato had been helpless to do anything but watch as one by one, the friends he'd been so close to chose to turn and walk away from him. But even then, he can't hate what they had. He's always known where he wants to be, and even if he never speaks to Ryusei again, even if Kashuu never picks up another bokuto, at least he can keep those things safe in his mind. For Kashuu to reject all that so adamantly... he can understand it objectively, sure, but Yasusada isn't sure it'll ever stop feeling like a pointed rejection of all that they'd once shared.]

[Nope.

He can't do it. Tripping around in the dark is a better option after all.

It's the pointed delivery and the dejection he can't handle, because Kashuu is not a bad person and that means he's not as callous as he likes to pretend. He is selfish, though. He feels guilt over the things he's done and the hurt he's caused, but he doesn't address it, shoves it aside, refuses to deal with it like he refuses to deal with all of the other ugly things in his life. It's only times like now that it comes back to remind him it's alive and well and thriving.

That ugly part of him reminds him of its existence too, wanting to lash out and be angry with Yamato for daring to provoke these things with just a few words, just the gentle cadence of his tone. He knows it isn't Yamato's fault. He knows none of these things are done out of maliciousness - it's just the way he is. He means no harm. He never does.

But he still reaches over, posture rigid, and pushes at Yamato's shoulder to reestablish some physical distance.]

So stop asking.

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