okitactless | IC inbox; recolle

[Yeah, probably because they all smell like ~*~ocean breeze~*~ and ~*~fairy breath~*~ for Kashuu's #aesthetic.

It's been a long time since Kashuu was upset enough to fall into this habit, and that, more than anything, is what finally elicits serious concern. All of this is so terribly absurd that even Yasusada "I won't live in apartment 409 unless you get a priest in here to purify it" Yamato wants to brush it off, but if it's upsetting Kashuu this much, then maybe it's time to take it seriously.

He scoots closer automatically; first to make it easier for Kashuu to reach him, but then to slump against his side with a sigh. Something about this still feels... off, somehow, but Yamato's always been very good at simply denying things he doesn't like, so it could very well be the consideration itself that's throwing him off. Either way, he doesn't like it; he's never been quite as tactile as Kashuu, but he's also never respected Kashuu's personal space, either.]

If it is just us... what could we even do about it? All I can think of is that I want to break your phone. [Of course that's all he can think of. YAMS PLS... but look, it was being mean? So it's gotta go. BYE RUDEASS PHONE.]

[LEAVE HIS AESTHETIC ALONE?! So what if he needs 100 different candles with increasingly bizarre names, at least their apartment smells bomb okay.

Anyway, Kashuu's usually pretty good at brushing things under the rug too, but reacting to Sudden Surprises is something he's less apt at coping with in the immediate aftermath. Maybe that's why Retrospec comes after his ass first with like 3 regains in one night... For now, though, he feels a little better already because - being the tactile person he is - this is a comfort when things are starting to shift and change in an unpleasant way around them. It's easier to brush them aside when he feels like he isn't alone.

He also rudely tugs at Yamato's bangs, but then reaches up to pat his head and ruffle his hair a little. A silent way of saying thanks, of showing that he feels a little better.]

No idea, but you're not breaking my phone. I still need that.

[EVEN IF IT IS BEING MEAN.]

[NEVER

They're useful right now, though, so he gets a pass this time. Yamato chomps halfheartedly at his hand, but then rests his head on Kashuu's shoulder, totally negating the non-threat.]

...I don't like it though. [Chocohorses, identity stealing apps, magnetic necklaces... yeah, they're all weird and kind of scary. But this, whoever or whatever programmed that "feature", it's way too personal. And that's unacceptable. Yamato's a lot of things, but nobody could ever say he doesn't care about his loved ones.]

[RUDE... Double rude?! He needs his hand, what the heck, don't make like a terrifying horse and bite at it.

Pomesada really is his favorite though, okay. He doesn't do anything sappy like resting his head in turn, but he kind of strokes Yamato's head a few more times like one might do with a pet before he reaches for his phone again. STILL DEAD... Which definitely is weird, but at least it can't spit rude things at him like this.]

It's not bothering you right now, yeah? It'll be fine.

[HE SAYS, only feeling secure enough to say that now that he's the one doing the reassuring.]

[WELL DON'T PULL HIS HAIR THEN PUNK

But it helps, it really does, when Kashuu is the one under control. Yamato's the older one, and definitely the one who took charge when they were kids, literally dragging Kashuu home from the street. He wouldn't be able to pinpoint a turning point even if he'd wanted to, but somehow, it feels better when Kashuu's the voice of reason. As if Kashuu's presence is more solid, stronger--easier to lean on than his own.

...Still, there are definitely times when Kashuu needs support, and not in the everyday reassurances of attractiveness. When he won't admit to needing it, Yamato thinks, that's when he needs it the most--much to Kashuu's chagrin, probably.

Quietly, he reaches over, resting his hand on Kashuu's and tapping the screen lightly.]

But it's bothering you. [It isn't a question--he already knows what the answer would be if it was.]

Edited (noooo I lost the icon I was gonna use HAVE THIS ONE INSTEAD) 2017-03-14 04:22 (UTC)

[It works out for both of them that way, at least... Kashuu feels better when he's the one doing the leading and reassuring, when he's the one who has the answers (or can at least pretend), when he's the one supporting. They fit into their respective roles nicely, at least; he provides what he can for Yamato and Yamato fills what he's missing in return.

But Yamato also has an annoying habit of poking exactly when Kashuu doesn't want him to. Thanks Yamato. He doesn't like admitting when he's really truly bothered by something, probably because it takes a semblance of that control away. Retrospec has already gotten under his skin more than enough times over the last month that he's reluctant to admit to being upset now, even though he's clearly willing to tinhat about lesser offenses all day.]

It's not. That isn't even true, so why would it bother me?

[Maybe because he's a lying liar who lies.]

Kiyomitsu.

[How is it that in every lifetime, Yamato learns how to perfect That Tone... the exact one he's using now, along with another tap, this time on Kashuu's knuckles.]

You weren't gone for that long, you know. [And even if he had been, Yamato probably would've remembered all of this anyway. It had hurt, back when he'd had nothing but memories to hold onto, but he'd held on so tightly that he couldn't possibly forget what Kashuu's like. Both the good, and the bad. "I know you" and "you aren't fooling me" go unspoken, save for the tone of his voice, since he hasn't lifted his head to give Kashuu a knowing look.]

[Ah, That Tone™... The one that makes him want to flinch and withdraw and punch Yamato all at the same time. He does none of those things in this case, keeping his hands still even as they're tapped at.

He's perfected a tone of his own, though. The beginnings of a cool anger, the smallest sharp edge, like he hopes just a few barbs will be enough to dissuade anyone from prying. As if it works on Yamato, who he knows (unfortunately, he'd say) just as well as Yamato knows him.]

You're really good at pissing me off, you know.

[But beneath that edge, there's a strange sort of softness. He doesn't push Yamato away, simply flexing his fingers twice instead and sighing.]

[If it worked on Yamato, their relationship would be a lot simpler. Kashuu might exaggerate a lot of things for the sake of complaining, but he's not wrong about this--Yamato has never, ever learned when to stop pushing. Either he doesn't notice, or he just doesn't care, but either way, he never stops until the line has already been crossed.]

I wouldn't have to be if you'd just talk to me. [There's no point in denying it, and no shame on his part for it, either. It's the only way he knows how to react when Kashuu closes off like this, pulling away into a place he can't follow.]

I don't wanna talk about it.

[It's about as direct as he ever gets when it comes to topics like this. When he reaches the end of his rope, or the extent of his ability to gracefully dart and toe around unsavory subjects, he only has a few paths of action left to fall back on. He can either say it directly and hope it'll be enough to dissuade Yamato from pressing (a rare occurrence), or he can get up and physically remove himself from the conversation.

Which isn't exactly an option right now, unless he feels like tripping around in the dark.]

You never want to talk about it.

[It's simple fact, but his tone makes it seem like a personal attack, with how dejected he sounds. He gets it, of course. It's not like he can't understand why Kashuu is the way he is. But for him, the past is nothing but a treasure--it houses the memories of their first meeting, of all the time they spent together, of how close they were and what good partner-opponents they made.

Kashuu and Soujirou's departures began the slow destruction of their little family, and Yamato had been helpless to do anything but watch as one by one, the friends he'd been so close to chose to turn and walk away from him. But even then, he can't hate what they had. He's always known where he wants to be, and even if he never speaks to Ryusei again, even if Kashuu never picks up another bokuto, at least he can keep those things safe in his mind. For Kashuu to reject all that so adamantly... he can understand it objectively, sure, but Yasusada isn't sure it'll ever stop feeling like a pointed rejection of all that they'd once shared.]

[Nope.

He can't do it. Tripping around in the dark is a better option after all.

It's the pointed delivery and the dejection he can't handle, because Kashuu is not a bad person and that means he's not as callous as he likes to pretend. He is selfish, though. He feels guilt over the things he's done and the hurt he's caused, but he doesn't address it, shoves it aside, refuses to deal with it like he refuses to deal with all of the other ugly things in his life. It's only times like now that it comes back to remind him it's alive and well and thriving.

That ugly part of him reminds him of its existence too, wanting to lash out and be angry with Yamato for daring to provoke these things with just a few words, just the gentle cadence of his tone. He knows it isn't Yamato's fault. He knows none of these things are done out of maliciousness - it's just the way he is. He means no harm. He never does.

But he still reaches over, posture rigid, and pushes at Yamato's shoulder to reestablish some physical distance.]

So stop asking.

[Yamato's never been that good with words. "I can't stop" and "but I miss the you that you were" might be clear and simple in his heart, but he's never found a good way to properly convey them. It's all he can do to push when Kashuu closes up, to cling when Kashuu pulls away--to just take all the little cuts and wounds from the barbs he throws out in defense.

It's all he can do, all he does every time, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. He doesn't move away; instead, he turns his face into Kashuu's shoulder, sighing heavily. "You can't run from it forever" is something else that lingers on the tip of his tongue, but that, at least, he's smart enough not to say out loud. Not until he can figure out a better way to put it, anyway.

He doesn't give Kashuu physical space, but he will, at least, drop the topic for now. Not for good, never for good, but it's almost as if he can sense the urge to run building up inside Kashuu, and his desire to keep him close by outweighs the crushing need to talk about the past.]

You know I won't. [It's quiet, mumbled into Kashuu's shoulder, but no less true for it. Yamato might lack tact, but he's not stupid. He knows himself better than it might seem.

That's all he says about it, though. He moves his hand off of Kashuu's in order to slide the phone over, turning it over to tap at the back.] Isn't there a reset button or something on these things?

[Kashuu may be notoriously difficult as an individual, but Yamato knows how to handle him well enough. Better than anyone else in the city, certainly. He had been on the cusp of pushing his own chair back, storming from the room, and leaving them both in separate, hostile, incompanionable silence.

He's not exactly happy with that answer, either. He know Yamato is being truthful. He knows any answer but this would be a lie. It still irks him anyway, still keeps him tense - but he settles back a little and doesn't try to shove him away a second time. He just folds his hands into his lap when Yamato's finally moves away and pulls his legs up onto the chair, reflexively self-protective.

Yamato provides a gracious enough escape from the topic he hates so much, and he takes it immediately.]

I dunno, but you can pop the battery out and that's usually enough.

Edited 2017-03-16 07:24 (UTC)

[He'd known Kashuu would take it, and maybe it's just because of the sheer predictability, but it breaks his heart just that much more when it happens. It's completely irrational, and he knows it, but he can't help feeling inexplicably disappointed whenever Kashuu doesn't prove him wrong.

But he offered the out, so he won't take it back. No matter how desperately he wants to.]

We should try that. Just in case the outage doesn't fix the issue.

I guess.

[He's still terse and speaking shortly, but that's probably also to be expected. Maybe part of him is aware of that lurking disappointment and he doesn't want to give himself any room in which it could possibly be addressed. Maybe he just doesn't want to give Yamato the opening to try bringing up ugly topics again.

He holds a hand out.]

Lemme give it a shot.

[He's probably right to be wary--it wouldn't be the first time Yamato's dropped a topic, only to bring it right back up again a couple of hours later, as if they'd never stopped talking about it. But Yamato's well aware that no matter what he says from this point on, it would just lead to a fight. And the last thing he wants right now is to be alone in the dark, with nothing but memories to keep him company.

He obediently passes the phone over, humming softly.]

My phone hasn't done anything weird, but now that I think about it, something weird happened at work yesterday.

[He'll work at prying his cover and the back panel off, but it's clear he's still paying attention to Yamato as he works. He's mostly just trying to keep his hands busy at this point, anyway. The actual shock of his phone being a RUDE TRAITOR has faded in the face of his general wariness of the current conversational situation here.]

Yeah? What happened?

[For once, Yamato's actually pretty concerned about what's going on--if only because he doesn't understand how this... app or company or whatever could've found out the things it said about Kashuu, let alone the perfect phrasing to hit him right where it would hurt. He hasn't asked his parents if they know about what's going on yet, but could the same thing happen to them?

It's not good. Not good at all.]

A bunch of us ended up with signs on our backs that had weird stuff written on them. Mine was some dumb thing I thought when I was a kid, so I just figured it was somebody from school pulling a prank, but I know it wasn't just me so now I'm not so sure.

[The way he eases out of his anger is usually pretty obvious, especially to someone like Yasusada who knows him so well. He's always like this - quick to explode, quick to forgive. He doesn't like the stilted silences that sometimes linger between them either, and he is still reeling from the sting of what his phone had recited. It doesn't take long before he's leaning back toward Yasusada just a little, like a flower seeking out the sun.

He just hums in response to what's said, in any case, unsurprised.]

I saw some of those. Izumi had one on his back and Bigby had one, too. Was it only at the library? [Rudeass librarians--]

What did yours say?

[He'd like to think this would be easier if he could see Kashuu's face, but he knows that's not the case. All he'd get is a clearer version of the same old expression--closely guarded hurt, tightly sealed unease that he refuses to acknowledge, no matter how obvious it really is.

Kashuu's body language speaks volumes anyway, and it helps a little, to feel the tension dissipate, even minutely. He hasn't lifted his head from Kashuu's shoulder, but he shift enough to speak clearly, even as he huffs.]

M'sure he deserved it. [GRUMBLE GRUMBLE, Yamato is forever petty and he does not care.] Nothing important, like I said. Just something silly I used to think.

[...Is he embarrassed. He might be a little embarrassed.]

In this case? Totally.

[YOU DON'T JUST FORGET THE NAME OF THE FIRST PERSON YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH!! He's a romantic at heart okay and that was just a big sigh-worthy moment.

...That said, he doesn't actually mean it even now. Secrets are important, okay. He wouldn't wish random secret-sharing on anyone, even for stupid secrets.

SPEAKING OF-- He'll just reach over to pinch Yamato's ear...]

Don't clam up now. I wanna know what it was!

[IT WOULD BE TRUE IN ANY CASE Yamato is sure of that!! But whatever, he has more important things to think about than that traitor, like how he's SUDDENLY BEING ATTACKED.]

Ow! Alright, alright! [Ugh!!] I think I still have the paper, actually.

[Because Yamato is definitely the type to wear the same pair of pants two days in a row... and to forget things in his pockets until it goes through the wash and gets ruined. He sighs, finally pulling away to pat his pockets down, and sure enough, there's a crumpled up piece of paper in one of them. He tosses it at Kashuu, uncaring if it lands on a candle and catches on fire, too busy bending down to inspect his foot again. HOW FASCINATING...]

[Unfortunately for him, Kashuu snatches it up before it can be eaten by the candle. He's not going to let a potential opportunity to make fun of Yamato go to waste?!

He'll open it up without pause too and it's a good thing Yamato's looking away, because he's definitely wearing one of his shit-eating amused smiles...]

Pff— Seriously? Fourteen? Just what kinda weird life do you live where you can believe stuff like this for so long without anyone bursting your bubble?

[He says, as if he hasn't actively contributed to this phenomenon at times...]

[Aaaand Kashuu gets a nice kick to the shin.]

Ah, it looks like I didn't break anything after all.

[SHUT UP look it's not? His fault? That nobody taught him science??? This is like the time he learned that the letters on bingo balls spelled "BINGO"...]

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