Yamato no Kami Yasusada (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
okitactless) wrote2017-01-25 07:26 pm
okitactless) wrote2017-01-25 07:26 pmIC inbox; recolle
Yasusada
I'd rather be doing kendo
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okitactless) wrote2017-01-25 07:26 pm
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wait what do you mean
what did he tell you
[So much has happened so quickly and with their intense fight not so long ago, there's a chance Kashuu did tell him and Yamato just straight-up forgot. But knowing Kiyomitsu "what problems I don't have problems idk what you're talking about" Kashuu...]
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That guy doesn't tell me anything, geez
What's up with you guys hiding stuff from each other...
Aren't you supposed to be like superbros or something
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Honestly, with anyone else, Yamato might shut the conversation down right here. This whole thing is an extremely sensitive subject, and even now he doesn't really want to get into just how much it hurts, the way Kashuu will blatantly lie to him--and to himself, really. But it's late, and Yato's a good friend, someone who just shared a vulnerable part of himself with him. He at least deserves an honest response.]
kiyomitsu doesn't like talking about bad things
I guess he thinks if he doesn't deal with them then they'll just go away or something
[Whereas Yamato will fixate and dwell on them for far longer than is healthy, certainly.]
he doesn't like talking about them with me the most, I think
He didn't even tell me when he moved out of town
[Which, granted, it's not like Yamato doesn't know why Kashuu bolted from the city. But he could have at least left a note saying he needed time alone. An email address. Anything at all. Years later and it still hurts.]
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[ Not that Yato can talk... really... He's left so many places abruptly. But self-awareness is ever his weak spot as a person... ]
I guess I understand it a little.
The more you care about how someone sees you, the more you wanna hide the bad stuff.
So I guess he hides the most from you because he's most afraid of you being upset or disappointed in him?
[ Yato only understands this notion because he does the exact same with Anya. Even if she never judges him, the fear is always there. ]
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[It's a strange thing, to know someone so well that you don't understand them at all. Soujirou had insisted Kashuu cared more than he ever let on, too, but Yamato's still not sure what to make of that.]
all I know is that there's a lot of stuff he doesn't want to talk about with me
that's why I thought he might talk to you instead
[Since, if Yato's theory is correct, Kashuu doesn't care as much about Yato's opinion of him, and thus wouldn't be afraid to talk about upsetting things. (And hey, he's right, if only by chance.
Of course, Kashuu cares about everyone's opinions, but. It's not the same. Regardless of how uncertain he is as to the state of Kashuu's feelings towards him, Yamato's willing to agree with that.]
I guess I couldn't be mad if he did though
talk about stuff with you I mean
since you're the only one who knows about that thing that happened with those guys
[WAY TO BE SPECIFIC, YAMS. He means his spontaneous alien healing, though--as well as the vision he'd seen during that fight, in fact. Congratulations on unintentionally becoming their secret keeper, Yato??]
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First Aki and Yuuko and Ryoji, now Yamato and Kashuu... Yato isn't sure how he keeps landing in the middle of secrets that he doesn't know are supposed to be secrets. Must be all the forceful intrusion into people's personal business. ]
When did I become a secret vault?
(Not that I mind, you can always tell me anything. (･ᴗ･̥̥̥))
You haven't told him about any of that stuff though? He'd probably be more candid with you if you opened up first.
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At least for Yamato's part, though, it's because he trusts Yato with this kind of thing. In truth, there aren't a whole lot of people Yamato's willing to discuss his Kashuu problems with, and while he feels bad for veering the conversation away from Yato's terrible dreams, maybe a distraction is what he needs right now. So he doesn't try to go back on course just yet.]
I told him about the fight of course
so that he could be prepared
but for the other stuff... he'd just worry, so there's no need. there's enough weird stuff happening to him personally as it is, I don't want to add to it
[That last bit makes him huff out a laugh, though it's quiet and wry.]
I open up too much, I think
I try to talk to him about things all the time but he always shuts down or runs away
it's been like that for a long time... even when we were kids he was
Nn... shy? no, guarded maybe? I don't know how to describe it
at least for a little while, then he started to be as bright as he is now
["Bright"... well, Yamato's never claimed to be good at words, so that's the closest he can come to describing Kashuu's easy sociability. As far as Yamato's concerned, Kashuu shines like a star in the middle of a room, which is why it breaks his heart even more to watch him shut down so completely.]
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[ goddamn
also "bright" YAMATO what does that even mean... Yato reads it as "intelligent" but that doesn't quite fit either, so then he reads it as some vague Anya-esque kira kira feeling ]
Sounds annoying tbh (ﾉ｀Д´)ﾉ
Here you are trying to connect and he runs away?? What kinda friendship is that? Ingrate!!
I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind (º言º)
[ so what if it's butt o'clock ]
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and he was there for that nightmare
[And then they slept together, except not in the fun way but in the "Yamato has abandonment issues and doesn't like being left alone" way...]
（笑）who knows, maybe he'd listen to you
you say everything with conviction, it's very impressive
[He's only saying this because he doesn't think Yato will actually do it?? IT'S BUTT O'CLOCK AND HE JUST HAD A NIGHTMARE ABOUT BEING A MURDERER surely he isn't in the mood to harass people, right? right]
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brb too busy harassing Kashuu ]
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I MEAN OOPS...]