okitactless | IC inbox; recolle

A real dragon? Cooool!

[ And... he means it... If Yamato got his battle wounds because of badass fights, then everything is okay in the end. He reaches into his bag and deposits a heartily-sized, foil-wrapped burrito on Yamato's chest before taking a seat nearby and grabbing his own burrito. ]

I'm glad you're okay. Did you have fun? Anya looked like she had fun.

["COOL"...

As he catches the burrito, he wonders if Yato's actually spoken to Anya yet, considering how laid back he sounds about the whole thing. Then again, Yasusada has to admit Anya is absolutely the type to focus on the good, talking about how much she loved her monkey friend instead of how frightening it was that they very nearly died more than once.]

I'm not sure I'd say we had "fun"... [IT WAS TERRIBLE but he doesn't want Yato to be upset, so he doesn't go quite that far. He isn't going to lie, though, and before he even starts unwrapping his food, he glances at Yato through his bangs.]

Remember that monster I told you about, from my dream? [If Yato doesn't, he won't be surprised--it feels like so long ago now.] I had to fight one of those, before the dragon. [He pauses, hesitating--but this is Yato, and Yasusada trusts him.] It was way too close.

[Close as in, "I almost didn't make it home". Maybe if it had stayed at jungle shenanigans, he could've enjoyed it, but as it is? He never wants to set foot outside of the city again.]

[ Anya doesn't even want to admit she fell off a waterfall even though she clearly made it out alright, so yeah. She probably glossed over certain parts.

Yato does remember the monster Yamato told him about, though -- and how much that whole memory seemed to genuinely disturb him. Given that Yamato is talking about the monster more seriously than the actual dragon, it must still be the case. Yato unwraps his burrito thoughtfully. ]

Have you remembered anything else about it? Like what it is, where it came from...

[Anya had better hope Yato doesn't ask for more details, then, because Yasusada sure doesn't know that she's trying to be sneaky?? Group Tarzan teamwork fail.

He looks down at his food without really seeing it, and when he speaks, it's like he's reciting from a book.]

They're an army of historical revisionists. They're called the Historical Retrograding Force, and they were trying to go back in time and alter the past. We were given human bodies to fight the war against them... before that, we were just swords.

[He doesn't pause or falter, saying all of it to his own hands instead of Yato. But once he's done, he raises his gaze, looking older than his 21 years and very, very tired.]

Some of that I remembered for myself, but a lot of it I heard from Kiyomitsu when I got back. Our memories keep lining up, so... [He shrugs; it makes sense to assume that whatever Kashuu remembers is the same for him too, at this rate.]

[ So that's a lot of information to parse. The "we were swords given bodies" is so outlandish, but it makes a certain sense? Yato has seen how they can feel through the swords they were given by Retrospec. The bottom line, though, is that "I'm really just a sword" is too abstract to internalize. Yamato will always just be Yamato in Yato's eyes. ]

Who's in charge of the revisionists? What kind of future are they trying to make?

[He hadn't really expected any particular reaction, but Yato's utter nonchalance sets him at ease, somehow. He can't help but smile, feeling something loosen in his chest. He hums thoughtfully, finally starting in on his food.]

I don't know for sure. I don't really remember anything about... later on. It just looked like a regular place. There were lots of people--well, i guess they must've been swords too, but it wasn't just me and Kiyomitsu.

[He hesitates, but only for a second, as if he's remembering who exactly he's speaking to.]

I'm not sure we ever got a fully explanation, really. If we had... then I'd like to think I wouldn't have been tempted so easily.

[ An army of swords-turned-people. Huh. Yamato's world is a strange place. And it really is a different world, isn't it? That part is difficult to parse too. Unless Yamato is from the distant future in Yato's world, they come from completely different realities. Yamato has been such a constant in Yato's life that it's hard to place him as anything but a rumble-ready college student with a love for kendo. ]

Tempted? By the revisionists?

Not directly...

[He pauses to take a bite of his food, a distant look on his face--but not in the "caught in a memory" sense.]

But I... there's a person I keep seeing, somebody that must've been extremely important. I think he was the first person to take home--my first "master", I guess you would say. [Which sounds... kind of weird, but Yasusada doesn't mind all that much. Not when he remembers just how overjoyed he'd been, feeling those hands pick him up for the first time.]

It was vague in the dream, but I finally saw everything about that battle I was in. And from what I can tell, that person was there... and I abandoned our mission to follow him instead. [If he'd had all of his memories, maybe he'd sound ashamed right now. And he does sound a little guilty, but not for the same reasons.] If it wasn't for Kiyomitsu, I don't know what I would've done.

I see... In that case, you were just being loyal to the person who took you in. Isn't that natural? Every swordsman has to form some kind of bond with his sword. And you wouldn't be you if you didn't return every ounce of loyalty and affection he showed toward you.

[ There's no judgment from Yato, because... well, he's never been a man to sacrifice himself or his loved ones for the mission either. He can understand the need to ensure the safety of a few above all others. ]

Actually, I used swords that were people too. They were ghosts that would turn into katanas and stuff for me. Like a backwards version of you, I guess.

[All at once, something loosens in his chest. It isn't the lack of judgment (he knows Yato well, after all) that gets to him, but the casual reassurance, as though what he'd done was something completely natural, even acceptable. It's such a far cry from how Kashuu had reacted, from the guilt and shame that had swept over him when he'd come to his senses, simply knowing in his heart that he'd nearly chosen betrayal.

It's a simple sense of understanding, an acceptance without fanfare that he hadn't realized he'd wanted until just now, and he doesn't try to hide the relief in his smile.]

...Thank you.

[It's not a whisper, but it's quiet all the same, though no less sincere for that. He perks up right after, looking curious.]

Really? Like that girl you saw?

[ Yato has barely scratched the surface of Yamato's other life, but he's certain that Yamato in any form would only have the best of intentions. He smiles warmly in answer to Yamato's thanks. If he's brought Yamato some small comfort, then he's glad... ]

Just like her. When I gave a spirit a name, they'd become my shinki -- kind of like a retainer, from what I can tell. Her name was Hiiro as a person and Hiki as a sword.

[ ... Hm. ]

Did you have a sword name too?

[ Naming swords is a thing people do, right? Right. ]

[He hums thoughtfully, going back to his food and taking in everything Yato says. He can't help but smile as he does, shifting just a little to ease the currently ever-present discomfort of his injuries.]

Giving them a name... that sounds really nice. [There's so much more that comes with that, he imagines--a name means an identity, a family, a home. In some other life, Yasusada can absolutely imagine Yato as the type to provide that comfort for someone, especially the dead.

The question catches him off-guard, though, and he looks surprised.]

Me?

[He blinks, brow furrowed as he thinks back over his memories, but slowly, he shakes his head.]

I don't think so... Kiyomitsu called me "Yasusada", and he's the only one who ever said it.

[Other people have spoken to him, but he doesn't recall hearing anything that could've been an alternate name for him. Of course, this will get proven wrong in the span of a few days, when he wakes up with sleep in his eyes and the name "Yamatonokami Yasusada" on his tongue. But for now, he remains none the wiser.]

Weird that we have the same names in our memories... Still, "Yasusada" had to come from somewhere. If it was your family name, then it probably came from your dad or the guy who made you.

[ The point being... nothing at all, really. What does it matter where Yamato's hallucinomemory name came from? Yato shrugs and unwraps more of his burrito. ]

Do you remember anything from when you were just a sword?

Mm. [It is weird, that hasn't escaped him.] I know I called him "Kiyomitsu" too, so it wasn't just me... I don't know if it was my first name or my last name, though. If swords even have first and last names...

[WHAT EVEN ARE SWORD NAMES, the struggle. Yasusada is now getting the "early days of Touken Ranbu fandom where nobody knew anything" experience.

He picks quietly at his food as he thinks about how to answer, mulling over the ever-increasing scenes he'd seen.]

I remember getting... "chosen", I guess? "Bought" sounds weird, but that must've been what happened. [He smiles a little.] Whatever it was, I was so happy... the person that chose me, I loved him right away. All I wanted was to be the best I could be for him. I don't think I cared about anyone else before he came along, so when he did it was like he was my whole reason for existing.

[It's probably not that surprising; Yasusada's always had a devoted personality, getting attached and clinging hard. Still, the instant intensity of his love had surprised even Yasusada, when he'd come out of it.]

...

[ Yato stares at Yamato. Stares really hard. ]

I'm disturbed by how cute you sounded just now.

[...

...?!?!]

Ha? Where did that come from?! [NOW HE'S EMBARRASSED]

You sounded like a puppy getting rescued, is all.

[ He scratches his cheek. Yamato getting attached and overflowing with unconditional love like that really isn't surprising. A tiny part of Yato is jealous... ]

The guy who chose you was lucky to have you.

[He still looks pretty embarrassed, but at least he's smiling now, albeit sheepishly.]

Well... that's a sword's purpose, isn't it? I can't imagine anybody not feeling like that about their master.

[Which he's only able to say because he isn't thinking about how Baren is technically his master now, but when he remembers he will regret everything he just said.

For now, though--] I'm pretty sure that person chose Kiyomitsu, too. I remember talking to him about it. [His smile fades.] After that person died, I think.

[ If Yato knew Baren was Yamato's master, he might have to actually disown Yamato?? ]

Outliving your masters seems like it'd be a real issue...

[ Thinking about all the swords that lie around for years and years in disuse is kind of depressing. Unless they're happy with just having a home? ]

Were you happier when you were being used to fight people?

[Yasusada wouldn't even blame him for it... but look, if Yasusada stuck around to support Yato through his bad decisions like murder, then Yato's gotta stick around for yams' shitty choices too. FRIENDSHIP.]

Yes.

[It's an immediate answer, falling from his lips with such ease that even Yasusada looks briefly surprised at himself. He doesn't take it back, though his brow does furrow a little.]

I don't... really remember being used-- not by him, I mean. [Aside from getting taken home, the only other memory of that period he has is sad and lonely.] After I got my body, the only one who used me was me, but... I definitely felt way more comfortable when I was fighting. I'm-- I get the feeling I didn't really like having a body, at first. It was too confusing when I just wanted to fight.

[Which sounds so typically Yasusada that it's almost funny, but there's no humor in his voice. His memories of being summoned, of gaining a body for the very first time and learning so much so quickly, are vastly overshadowed by his feelings at being reunited with Kashuu. Still, the way he'd felt when fighting in his memories had been so different from what he feels in this life--"intense" doesn't even begin to describe it.]

[ friendship sure is a double edged sword sometimes HAHHH

There's no humor in Yamato's voice, but Yato laughs anyway... ]

That's so you. What about Kashuu? Did he feel the same way?

[It's really not funny, but the sound of Yato's laughter makes Yasusada smile anyway, simply because he knows it isn't malicious or mocking. It fades as he considers the question, leaning forward with a slight wince to put the remains of his food on the table.]

Well, I didn't ask... [Something that, he feels, is important to specify. But he knows his boyfriend well enough that he hadn't really needed to ask, especially given the nature of some of his stronger memories.]

...but, I don't know, I doubt it. He probably did a little bit, but he's never really been like me, I think that was probably true even when we were swords. [The smile is back, warmer this time, a little impish.] He even had painted nails back then!

[ Yato's laugh was genuine before, but now when he laughs again, it's definitely at Kashuu's expense. ]

Seriously?? That guy's unbelievable.

[ Yato's pretty much done with his food because his stomach no longer has a bottom and he isn't limited by petty things like body volume, so he crumples up the foil and tosses it onto the table. ]

Was he into fashion too?

[Making fun of Kashuu is clearly the best hobby anyone could have]

He sure looked like it. He was wearing heels and everything. [KASHUU WHY.] Oh, except when we went to the beach for the first time. But then he said something stupid like "a sunburn is your skin's enemy" and had on arm covers...

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