okitactless | IC inbox; recolle

If it's a penthouse, it's gonna be high up.

[So clearly they're just going to have to learn how to parkour their way down...]

Anyway, he's just a cat! He doesn't know what he's getting into, that's why you have to keep your stuff away from him.

[He sounds so understanding now but wait until he leaves a project out and Cat uses it as a scratching pad.]

No way! He's your cat, so you need to keep him away from my stuff. [Has Yamato ever used that many verbal italics in a sentence before? Like, ever?? HIS FEELINGS ABOUT CATS ARE 2STRONK.]

Who did you even get him from, anyway?

[WHY IS HE LIKE THIS... Kashuu huffs and puffs like the brat he is.]

I can't control a cat!

[No one can control a cat!! Not even Kashuu, despite the fact that he's probably the most cat-like person Yamato knows...]

If I tell you, are you gonna go hunt 'em down or something?

[He sure is?? Though that kind of makes sense, it's not like cats are good with other cats. Yet another reason why they're the worst.]

Of course not, I'm not that cruel. It's not their fault you're a huge sucker. [WHAT A PUNK]

[Why must Yamato be like this...]

It's not my fault they're so cute and soft. [He's weak. HE'S WEAK.] Anyway, Karkat's cats had kittens and some of the people who were supposed to take 'em got... y'know. [Makes a vague hand gesture?!] Whatever happens when people forget about Retrospec.

[HE'S WEAK!! Thankfully Yamato is stronk and will save them from the fluffy menace, which has just stretched out a little paw and sleepily hooked its little claws to Kashuu's shirt.]

Oh... [Ah, that's... awkward. And not really something he wants to ponder too much--he really doesn't want to know what life is like, when someone you know suddenly forgets about the madness that is reality.

So he just sighs, shaking his head slightly.] Just don't keep him too long. He'll get attached and so will you. Getting a pet shouldn't a spur of the moment choice, you know?

[Look, at least that's... a reasonable point. At least finances aren't a huge issue, or else he'd really be adamant about this.]

Hey, hey...

[This is how you can tell just how weak he is: Instead of immediately SHRIEKING ABOUT LOOSE THREADS, he just sort of gently starts working the cat's claws out of his shirt. It's futile since Cat will just rehook it again a few seconds later BUT WHATEVER...]

Anyway- [Because he's not going to acknowledge that "don't keep him too long" part.] -it wasn't super spur of the moment. I talked to him about his kittens when he was first offering 'em up too, but I wasn't sure we'd have enough space.

[He's talked to like 3 cat lovers since then who have insisted that space doesn't matter so much as toys and having things to climb, though.]

[He loves it enough to let it claw at his shirt, but not enough to give it a name... incredible.

But wait.]

...so you've been planning to sneak home a cat for a while, is that it? [KASHUU YOU ARE NOT HELPING YOUR OWN CASE]

[Oh yeah, that's kind of what he gave away there, isn't it...]

—No! I wasn't looking back then.

[This is only a partial lie!!]

Kiyomitsu!

[IT'S OBVIOUSLY A LIE WHAT THE HELL]

[DON'T KIYOMITSU HIM, IT'S THE FAULT OF THE CATS FOR BEING TOO CUTE.]

I wasn't gonna get any, seriously! They were just really cute and I wanted to look!

Right, just like you "just wanted to look" at those earrings you got last week?

[KASHUU. HE KNOWS YOU. GIVE IT UP.

It's too late now, in any case?! He isn't so cruel that he'd just toss a small animal out the door, and helping to find it a new owner would be taking on more responsibility than he really wants, as far as this stupid cat is concerned.

So he just sighs, rubbing his forehead and stepping over to pick up some of the things Kashuu brought in along with Cat.] I won't make you take it back to a shelter, but don't complain when you've got to scoop up cat poop.

I won't complain!

[They both know this is as true as him "just wanting to look" at earrings... But he'll carefully shift Cat into the crook of one arm so he can help pick up stuff with his free hand, too. Cat is surprisingly docile at least, but that might just be because he's a sleepy, sleepy kitty who needs a nap.]

Geez... Have at least a little faith in me here.

I do have faith in you.

[...]

I have faith that you'll complain but still be a pushover every time it blinks at you.

[SO RUDE but look, is he wrong... no he isn't and he knows it. He's also still vaguely grumpy, mostly because Kashuu didn't tell him ahead of time (though let's be real, even if he had Yamato would've caved eventually anyway, HE'S WEAK TOO save them all).

At least he's helping, though, which Yamato actually didn't expect. YOU CAN'T WIN HIS FAVOR BACK LIKE THIS KASHUU (yes he can)]

...Moisten the dry food a little bit at first when you give it to him, it'll be easier for him to eat. [why does he know this]

[SEE at least this way Yamato can protect his dignity by being grumpy and irritated over a surprise cat attack instead of slowly being broken down by Kashuu's intense desire and wheedling to bring one home...

He'll glance over somewhat curiously at that, though. Karkat's given him a pretty thorough rundown of cat care so he's not surprised by the advice itself so much as who it's coming from.]

Have you taken care of cats before or did you just learn their weaknesses?

Don't make me sound like a maniac!

[GOSH!! Who do you think he is, the kind of guy that runs after black cats in alleys and ends up getting hit by a car...]

Mom just used to house-sit for our neighbors when they went on vacation, and I heard them talking about that stuff. I never went over there, though, so I don't know why I remember it.

[Just gives him a look that says is that not what you are, though.

But he SUPPOSES that's a believable explanation.]

Maybe 'cause you knew it'd come in handy yeeears and years in the future?

[RUDE.]

Or maybe a cat demon snuck in and slept on my pillow when I was a kid so now I can never forget it.

[IS HE BEING SERIOUS OR NOT you'll never know]

Literally who even are you.

[WHY IS HE ROOMING WITH SUCH A WEIRDO... With a huff, he'll take his cat and his cat things and mosey off to start setting his room up. BYE NERD.]

IC inbox; recolle

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