Right, just like you "just wanted to look" at those earrings you got last week?
[KASHUU. HE KNOWS YOU. GIVE IT UP.
It's too late now, in any case?! He isn't so cruel that he'd just toss a small animal out the door, and helping to find it a new owner would be taking on more responsibility than he really wants, as far as this stupid cat is concerned.
So he just sighs, rubbing his forehead and stepping over to pick up some of the things Kashuu brought in along with Cat.] I won't make you take it back to a shelter, but don't complain when you've got to scoop up cat poop.
[They both know this is as true as him "just wanting to look" at earrings... But he'll carefully shift Cat into the crook of one arm so he can help pick up stuff with his free hand, too. Cat is surprisingly docile at least, but that might just be because he's a sleepy, sleepy kitty who needs a nap.]
I have faith that you'll complain but still be a pushover every time it blinks at you.
[SO RUDE but look, is he wrong... no he isn't and he knows it. He's also still vaguely grumpy, mostly because Kashuu didn't tell him ahead of time (though let's be real, even if he had Yamato would've caved eventually anyway, HE'S WEAK TOO save them all).
At least he's helping, though, which Yamato actually didn't expect. YOU CAN'T WIN HIS FAVOR BACK LIKE THIS KASHUU (yes he can)]
...Moisten the dry food a little bit at first when you give it to him, it'll be easier for him to eat. [why does he know this]
[SEE at least this way Yamato can protect his dignity by being grumpy and irritated over a surprise cat attack instead of slowly being broken down by Kashuu's intense desire and wheedling to bring one home...
He'll glance over somewhat curiously at that, though. Karkat's given him a pretty thorough rundown of cat care so he's not surprised by the advice itself so much as who it's coming from.]
Have you taken care of cats before or did you just learn their weaknesses?
[GOSH!! Who do you think he is, the kind of guy that runs after black cats in alleys and ends up getting hit by a car...]
Mom just used to house-sit for our neighbors when they went on vacation, and I heard them talking about that stuff. I never went over there, though, so I don't know why I remember it.
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But wait.]
...so you've been planning to sneak home a cat for a while, is that it? [KASHUU YOU ARE NOT HELPING YOUR OWN CASE]
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—No! I wasn't looking back then.
[This is only a partial lie!!]
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[IT'S OBVIOUSLY A LIE WHAT THE HELL]
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I wasn't gonna get any, seriously! They were just really cute and I wanted to look!
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[KASHUU. HE KNOWS YOU. GIVE IT UP.
It's too late now, in any case?! He isn't so cruel that he'd just toss a small animal out the door, and helping to find it a new owner would be taking on more responsibility than he really wants, as far as this stupid cat is concerned.
So he just sighs, rubbing his forehead and stepping over to pick up some of the things Kashuu brought in along with Cat.] I won't make you take it back to a shelter, but don't complain when you've got to scoop up cat poop.
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[They both know this is as true as him "just wanting to look" at earrings... But he'll carefully shift Cat into the crook of one arm so he can help pick up stuff with his free hand, too. Cat is surprisingly docile at least, but that might just be because he's a sleepy, sleepy kitty who needs a nap.]
Geez... Have at least a little faith in me here.
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[...]
I have faith that you'll complain but still be a pushover every time it blinks at you.
[SO RUDE but look, is he wrong... no he isn't and he knows it. He's also still vaguely grumpy, mostly because Kashuu didn't tell him ahead of time (though let's be real, even if he had Yamato would've caved eventually anyway, HE'S WEAK TOO save them all).
At least he's helping, though, which Yamato actually didn't expect. YOU CAN'T WIN HIS FAVOR BACK LIKE THIS KASHUU (yes he can)]
...Moisten the dry food a little bit at first when you give it to him, it'll be easier for him to eat. [why does he know this]
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He'll glance over somewhat curiously at that, though. Karkat's given him a pretty thorough rundown of cat care so he's not surprised by the advice itself so much as who it's coming from.]
Have you taken care of cats before or did you just learn their weaknesses?
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[GOSH!! Who do you think he is, the kind of guy that runs after black cats in alleys and ends up getting hit by a car...]
Mom just used to house-sit for our neighbors when they went on vacation, and I heard them talking about that stuff. I never went over there, though, so I don't know why I remember it.
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But he SUPPOSES that's a believable explanation.]
Maybe 'cause you knew it'd come in handy yeeears and years in the future?
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Or maybe a cat demon snuck in and slept on my pillow when I was a kid so now I can never forget it.
[IS HE BEING SERIOUS OR NOT you'll never know]
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[WHY IS HE ROOMING WITH SUCH A WEIRDO... With a huff, he'll take his cat and his cat things and mosey off to start setting his room up. BYE NERD.]