Week 0, post-investigation

[okitactless]

[To the surprise of no one, Yasusada's been sticking as close to Okita's side as possible. But that doesn't mean he's totally oblivious to the world around him--and even if Kyouka and Dazai weren't his dormmates, it would've been very hard to miss Jae-ha's outburst.

And let's face it: Yasusada is not the best person for this.

But.

He knows what it's like, to lose your master, partner, captain, commander--all of it. He knows what it's like, to be so close to someone you love, yet unable to touch them, heal them, save them--anything. And that's not a type of suffering he wants anyone to go through alone.

So while they've only had a couple of lighthearted conversations, Yasusada doesn't hesitate to seek out Jae-ha later in the day, when most everyone has likely dispersed. Whenever and wherever he might be, Yasusada does not bother with questions like "are you okay?" or empty reassurances like "it'll be alright."

Instead, he says softly:] You were very close, weren't you.

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[alttitude]

[Jae-ha found a window.

even if he can't escape out of it - even if he might've tried again just once more - he sits by it. he lets his gaze fixate on the sky, on the horizon, of a promise of a place out of here... and he thinks about how nice it would be to get to leave. he thinks about how nice it would've been to take gi-gan with him.

when he's asked a question, straightforward and blunt, he lets his eyes fall closed]

... well, she's my ideal woman.

[is.

was.]

... though I can't imagine you'd know much about that.

[idly, not meanly

he might be trying for a joke.]

[okitactless]

I don't.

[It's an easy thing to admit. They both know it's perfectly true, after all. But his tone is much more serious than it was before as he steps up to stare out the window as well.]

But I do know how you feel. [A pause. And then, in a surprising show of emotional competence--] As much as another person can, anyway.

[It's not the same, after all. It never is.]

[alttitude]

[ . . . Jae-ha hums at that, because he's not surprised. People often experience loss. It's not a rare thing. It's not even a unique thing. His story isn't something ground-breaking because in times of war, you never know who you might lose.

... but it still somehow feels so impossible.]

Ah.

Sorry for your loss.

[okitactless]

[Yasusada shakes his head. He appreciates it, but he isn't here to commiserate. 

He fiddles with his sleeves, quiet for a moment.] 

...Swords are made to kill. [When he speaks at last, there's no shame in his voice. It's what he is, that is nothing but fact.] 

...but... it should be to protect. Your opponent should be given an honorable death. 

[Not a game. Not like this.

Then, because he doesn't know how else to say it--] I'm angry for you. 

[alttitude]

[ . . . . ]

Are you.

[Jae-ha's eyes narrow at that, like he's trying to parse through the information:]

And what do you intend on doing with that anger?

[okitactless]

[That's... a good question, honestly. Even in battle, Yasusada doesn't get angry very often.

He tilts his head.] What would you have me do?

[It's not a promise of action--Jae-ha isn't his master, after all. But if he was... Yasusada's curious. What sort of orders would Jae-ha be giving, in his grief and pain?]

[alttitude]

It's hard to say - I'm not normally the one calling the shots, you know. Not unless I have to, and I know what course of action is correct.

[He can admit to that.

. . .

But that's not the case here.]

All I want is - answers.

[okitactless]

I see.

[And he does, truly, but... answers are not what he's good at. Okita mentioned something similar, but this is definitely more of a job for someone like Horikawa.

Still, Yasusada takes a breath, nodding.]

I'll do my best, then.