okitactless | IC inbox; recolle

[Normally, he'd be one to point that out. He doesn't make promises that he can't keep, after all - not when it comes to the serious things. He's only human. No human can predict their own death. On top of that, his first reflexive way of handling problems is to drop them and run far, far away. He's not even thinking of the way he returned to Japan and left Yamato behind for years right now, somewhat selfishly, focusing instead on the more immediate concern of trying to reassure him that no monsters would be snatching him away any time soon.

Can he really promise, though? Of course not.

But for once, he doesn't say that, because he's swept away by the intensity of emotion reflecting back at him from Yamato's face. The way his eyes stare, wide and hoping and afraid, as if Kashuu himself were some sort of prophet that could dispel any inkling of misfortune hanging around the two of them. There's no way he has the power to do something like that, in this world or in any frightful dream world, but what can he do? He can't leave someone looking at him like that without the answer they want to hear.

His voice is surprisingly steady when he speaks, even and measured and more sure-sounding than he could ever feel.]

I promise.

[And then, in a somewhat childish gesture, he lifts a hand away from Yamato and holds it up, pinky extended.

Fortunately, he leaves out the "cross my heart, hope to die" part.]

[It's funny, really. Two years is a long time, and people change, especially when it comes to running from the past. Kashuu worked so hard to reinvent himself, and Yamato's still not sure if he'd even wanted to return at all. It would've made perfect sense if, upon their reunion, they'd felt more like strangers than old friends.

But Yamato's never felt that kind of disconnect. He understands Kashuu as well as he always did, no matter how much they've both changed. He knows when Kashuu's whining and when he's genuinely upset. He knows how to push Kashuu's buttons, and he knows exactly when he's crossed a line, even if he marches right over it anyway. And most of the time, even if he doesn't mention it, he can tell when Kashuu's being serious, and when he's just trying to placate him.

Some part of him, that small voice of logic that's so often drowned out by his heart, knows this has got to be the latter. But Kashuu sounds so certain, and it is exactly wants to hear--and that offer, such a small, silly thing, is exactly what he needs to feel better.

He knows Kashuu very well, even after their separation. But Kashuu knows him very well, too.

He lifts his own hand, linking his pinky with Kashuu's, and nods just a little.]

If you die, I'll kill you, you know. [It's mumbled, but finally, the tension is truly starting to drain out of him. His grip isn't so frantically tight, and a smile even ghosts across his face.]

Good thing I have no plans to die any time soon, then.

[It's said with a little barely-there huff that could be a laugh, and he shakes their linked hands once, giving his pinky a little squeeze before moving to break his hand away again. A pinky promise for something like this is childish, but it's not like he has anything else to offer in the face of monsters and blood.

But he can tell that Yamato is calming down a little, and more than coming back to himself after that nightmare, he's losing that frantic edge that had pushed some fear into Kashuu himself. He reaches up again anyway, though, patting his head once more.]

D'you need me to get you anything? Water or a snack or...?

[Extra blankets, warm milk, heck, he'd probably go to the corner store if Yamato wanted his favorite pudding or something (assuming Yamato would even let him leave the house alone so soon after apparently thinking he'd straight-up died). Kashuu lives to be spoiled, but no one could say that he doesn't know how to spoil others in turn, or dote on them when they're sick or distressed or in need of a little gentleness.]

Edited 2017-03-22 06:47 (UTC)

[The most telling part, probably, is that Yamato actually lets his hand go. The desire to cling is certainly there, but then, it always is to some mild degree.

His first thought is, indeed, to ask Kashuu to stay--not just in the house, but right here with him. The fear that he'll turn around to find Kashuu gone hasn't quite dissipated completely, but he knows himself well enough to recognize that it will linger for a while. It wouldn't be fair to force Kashuu to stay with him if he's just going to worry about it anyway.

So he shakes his head, reluctantly letting go of Kashuu's other hand, too. If it's only three in the morning, then Kashuu definitely need to go back to bed. It's the middle of the school week, after all.]

No, I think I'm just going to lay on the couch for a while. [There's no way he's going back to sleep, but his nonexistent diploma isn't going to suffer for missing classes. It wouldn't be the first time he skipped out to go spend the day at the dojo, which is exactly where he's going as soon as the doors are open. Granted, it's not like he's going to function well without sleep either, but. He'd rather stumble through the day than risk closing his eyes and seeing that awful grin all over again.]

No way.

[JUST A "NAH" AT FIRST like the rude punk he is-- But he'll move on to finish that thought instead of just leaving it at "nah", at least, which is more than can be said for what he usually does...]

If you go out there and sit in the dark alone, you're just gonna think yourself up into a frenzy again and spend the rest of the night worrying and then you're gonna end up failing your classes or tripping at kendo and bashing your nose on the floor or something.

[Truly, they know each other Too Well. Yamato doesn't even have to ask for Kashuu to know that he wants to stay close, and after a nightmare like that, he's not against indulging him just a little. Just for tonight.

It's been a long time since he's shared sleeping space with him - since back when they were younger, taking naps on the floor in Yamato's room after a day of playing games and eating his mother's cooking, or crammed into the same sleeping bag on awful camping trips where he just complained about bugs and Yamato snoring. Still, there's no hesitation as he pushes himself back up from the ground and holds his hand back down toward Yamato, nodding toward his bed.]

Move some of your stuff, I'm staying here tonight.

[JUST INVITES HIMSELF but it's not like he'd be able to sleep well anyway, knowing Yamato was awake just down the hall.]

Edited 2017-03-22 18:02 (UTC)

[He really should've expected it, but the pointed refusal catches him off-guard nonetheless. He blinks in surprise, but even if he'd wanted to argue, he's too tired to find the right words. Especially when they wouldn't even be true.

He stays where he is as Kashuu gets to his feet, searching for-- anything, really. Some kind of token protest, just because he feels like he should be contrary. But in the end, he doesn't have the energy for even that. He takes Kashuu's hand without complaint, unfolding himself and realizing just how long he'd been sitting in such an awkward position. He winces slightly as he wiggles his toes, but all he says is:]

I wouldn't trip and fall on my face...

[HIS KENDO PRIDE, the only important stance he has...

He doesn't bother to let go of Kashuu's hand as he does as he's told. Carelessly, he kicks his messenger bag closer to his desk and shoves some of the spare clothes on his bed onto the floor. That's about as much as he's going to do, but he doesn't climb back into bed right away; he hesitates, gaze drifting over to his bokuto. It's right on its stand like always, and it only takes him a minute to decide to go and grab it, propping it gently against his bedside table instead.

Look, at least he's not actually going to sleep with it.]

Are you sure you don't need anything? Your phone, or... [a hair brush, a teddy bear, he doesn't know what Kashuu sleeps with at night, okay. It really has been ages.]

[Signs that Yamato really is bothered: he's not taking the ample opportunities provided to be a little shitstain...

Kashuu also just gives him a Pointed Look at his lame rebuttal, because really?? Is that really the hill he wants to die on? The "super prideful about kendo, kendo all the time, kendo forever" hill? (Kashuu knows the answer, stop, that's why he doesn't look surprised at all when he brings over his bokuto.)

As for the question-- Whoops. He actually does need it, though not so he can stay up scrolling through Instagram for 6 hours.]

Yeah, I need my alarm. Hang on--

[He'll get it himself, just popping over down the hall to snatch it up from his bedside table. Strangely, he finds himself glancing toward the shell he'd left there by his lamp before he returns back.]

--I'm sleeping on the side closer to the wall, too. I don't wanna get kicked onto the floor if you start rolling all over the place.

[LOOK... look... it's 3 a.m. cut him some slack.

But when Kashuu comes back, Yamato's already laying back down, one arm pillowing his head and the other absently tracing the tsuba of his bokuto. He pauses and looks over when Kashuu arrives, but he doesn't withdraw his hand.]

That's fine. [Aww, how thoughtful--] I don't want you this close to him anyway, you'd just knock him over.

["him" being the bokuto because yams is fucking weird forever and always. AND ALSO A PUNK who isn't even gonna move his legs, Kashuu's gonna have to crawl over him.]

[At least he's used to that kind of weirdness... He rolls his eyes just a little because HE CAN'T HELP IT DAMN swords aren't people?? No matter how much you love your bokuto, you can't date it, yams...

But then he's crawling over Yamato's legs, probably bumping them with his sharp pointy little kneecaps as he goes, and moving to nestle into the spot between him and the wall. It's kind of nice, honestly. He gets cold easily and being tucked away like this is comforting and warm.]

Gimme some blanket and pillow.

[GRABBY HANDS. At least between the two of them, he's not an actual blanket stealer...]

[Kashuu will regret thinking that when he gets jealous over an 8-year-old painting Yamato's nails, just admit it.

He grunts as Kashuu clambers over him, and maybe some other time, he'd throw in a light kick, just because. He doesn't do that, but he does grumble a little, even as he tosses one of the pillows over his shoulder. For a minute, he considers making Kashuu grab the blanket himself, since he doesn't quite want to pull his hand away from his bokuto; but Kashuu is going out of his way quite a bit for him, after all. So he sighs, but only quietly, and turns over, adjusting the blanket so that it's covering Kashuu as well. If he remembers correctly, Kashuu's feet get colder than his hands, so he does his best to toss it over him in a way that will cover them.]

Don't drool on my pillowcase, I just washed it. [Because saying "good night, Kiyomitsu, thank you for staying with me" is far too logical, and Yamato does have a little tsun in him.

(But he doesn't turn back over to grab the bokuto again. Instead, his fingers find their way to Kashuu's back--not quite latching onto his shirt, just resting there, drawn to the steady warmth of his presence. Yamato isn't always so tactile, but when he's in the mood, it's a constant thing.

He doesn't think about the fact that Kashuu's the only one he's ever done it to.

He doesn't think about anything at all, really. Because he'd been certain that sleep was a lost cause, but with Kashuu safely close by, the exhaustion from his earlier panic hits him in full force. He drifts off quickly.)

He doesn't dream again tonight.]

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