okitactless | IC inbox; recolle

[Luckily, Baren does not give a shit about politeness.

Instead, he's putting rice into bowls - two equal servings, because it's automatic because he always cooks for himself and his twin sister because they're the same in everything - and holding one out for Yamato to take wherever he actually cares to eat. When he looks at the stove, he'll find warm and freshly made beef bulgogi.]

Lunch. Had a craving and your apartment was close.

[And probably locked?? Not that that apparently seems to matter to Baren. Still, he makes a vague gesture.]

I divided it up. Eat your portion.

[That too is exactly in half....]

Closer than fast food?

[HE DOUBTS IT!! But Baren is a model and for all Yamato knows he'd get fired for standing inside a Burger King, so it makes a certain kind of sense. He's still eying Baren like he's waiting for a comment that will inevitably rile him up, but when nothing comes, he... gets even more suspicious?? Yams please.]

...Thank you.

[He still has manners, though, and he takes the bowl carefully, even as he mumbles his thanks. Somehow, Baren's in the same category as Ryusei and Izumi, evoking a "I can't be in the same room as you without turning into a petty brat" type of feeling. WHY.]

I'm surprised you're allowed to cook, what with potential oil burns and all. [Which can probably covered up with makeup, but still... he just assumes that anybody who makes money off of their looks wouldn't want to risk them, regardless of what body part it is.]

You think I'm more afraid of oil burns than whatever shit they put in fast food? What kind of delicate flower do you take me for?

[Honestly... But Baren's just going to shake his head even as he goes to serve himself some food and then head over to the kitchen table to eat because he's not an animal. He has manners. Weird.

Still though, he's going to wave his hand as if to dismiss he thought.]

Work is important, but so is having fun. If I was worried about my appearance all the time, I wouldn't have even half as much fun as I do now...

[and he thinks fondly of stolen chocobos and overflowing washing machines and

sighs wistfully]

I don't know! You can't take a couple of bruises, how am I supposed to know what your limits are?

[FIGHT HIM BAREN COME ON YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO

Despite his grumbling, though, Yamato sure is chowing down with no hesitation... apparently he's either convinced Baren isn't trying to poison him, or he's too hungry to care anymore.]

Cooking doesn't seem like something you'd find fun, anyway. It's too normal. [Which Baren clearly is not, because he enjoys things like, y'know

STEALING CHOCOBOS]

[He does kind of want to fight Yamato but not enough to risk the bruising... Maybe one day, when he's sure that he can just kick his ass for fun. Or if there's no work. One or the other.]

Do you also think I'm a cyborg that doesn't require sustenance.

[like

really]

[And on that day, Yamato will actually learn to like him. (Maybe.)]

I said I didn't think you cooked, not that you didn't eat! [BAREN IS DOING THIS ON PURPOSE HE'S SURE OF IT what a punk...] Aren't you famous or something? I figured you'd just get other people to cook for you.

[Baren seems like the kind of guy who'd call up room service and order something that wasn't on the menu just to see if they'd conjure it up for him... Yamato's opinion, it's so low...]

[ok but the thing is that baren has definitely done that.

still though, he's existing as... a person right now. which is normally something that he only does in places he's comfortable. so his home and when he's in select company or in the homes of aforementioned select company. this apartment is a comfort spot for him, and he doesn't see a reason to trash it.]

Well of course I get them to cook for me.

[but also - ]

If I couldn't fend for myself when I wanted, that'd be pretty pathetic though. Do you think that this money I have now is going to last forever? I guess you're welcome to think I'm irresponsible, but I'm not an idiot. Do you think that once you become famous, you stop having problems? How nice....

How should I know? You always seem like you're having a great time just doing whatever. [Especially when he's doing things like pISSING HIM OFF

Baren's not wrong about Yamato's assumptions, though, not really. Yamato hasn't thought about it in so much detail, but it's true that he's never imagined Baren as living any other kind of lifestyle than the one he has now. The idea of Baren at some quiet desk job in an office building is absurd--and with the way Baren presents himself, Yamato's always been under the impression that Baren's always intended to keep on the way he's been going. To hear that he's actually given thought to things like the future, or to even being able to fend for himself... it's honestly more mature than he would've expected.

Of course, he's not actually going to say that. But there's a lack of heat in his retort, and it's telling, the way Yamato keeps his attention fixed firmly on his food.]

Well, at least I won't have to worry about you starving to death, then. [NOT THAT HE CARES!!! But Kashuu would be sad, so, y'know.]

You shouldn't worry at all. Are you stupid?

[And there it is, the prickly, difficult part of Baren.

Because even now, he's not used to people worrying about him. it gets him uncomfortable when people even ask him if he's doing okay - because why wouldn't he be? As far as he's concerned, he prefers to keep the facade of his perpetual state of being just being screaming and laughing.

Hence why he looks at Yamato as if his question is serious. Someone has to be stupid if they're worried over Baren of all people.]

Have you ever heard of staying in your lane?

Ever heard of saying things just to be polite?

[Geez, it's a good thing Kashuu isn't here right now. One tsuntsun is enough for this tiny apartment...]

Anyway, not that I'll be buying you lunch or anything, but I won't forgive you if you die, got it? [Oh look, it's Yamato attempting to be tsun... he's not very good at it but he does his best, okay... at least his eye roll is suitably exasperated.]

If I die? That's dramatic.

[Though given some of the weird shit they've all started to see... Maybe not so much?

Regardless, he's shaking his head.]

Didn't you get the memo? I'm like a cockroach. Hard to get rid of and shit. You really worry over some stupid things, Yamyamtaro.

Well you've got one thing right.

[BAREN SURE IS HARD TO GET RID OF it's so annoying!! It's not like Yamato would kind of sort of miss him if he fucked off into the ether!!! !!!!!

But more importantly, worrying... yeah, he's been doing that a lot lately, hasn't he? But maybe it can't be helped. Absently, his gaze drifts over towards his own bedroom door--he keeps his own sword right next to his bed, but he's begun to wonder if he shouldn't swap out carrying his bokuto around everywhere for that one... or maybe both. It's hard to know what to expect these days.]

They're not stupid things anymore, though. They made us tiny, they stole colors... they might decide to turn cockroaches into monsters next, for all we know. [If Baren responds with something self-deprecating about cockroaches then Yamato is going to give him a black eye, so help him--] It might not even matter if you know how to take care of yourself, you know? Not with the kind of things that have been happening lately.

[Granted, he's not thinking about Baren anymore so much as he's thinking about himself, but still.]

[Baren watches - wonders what Yamato's looking at, but he doesn't ask. If he's really curious, he'll poke at it later. Instead, he listens to Yamato's worries and... tilts his head.]

You're thinking about this..

You should really stop that, it doesn't suit you.

[Shithead.

Except Baren breaks it up with a laugh next, amused and light-hearted to follow up his joke.]

You're like superman or something, aren't you? At least the tendency to brute force your way through things... If shit goes down, deal with it when it comes. If you wanna make preparations before then, do it. But you won't know for sure what you can or can't handle until it happens, right?

You're like the last person that I'm worried about.

[which is. almost a nice thing. sort of. it's mired in there.... and he just keeps eating as if he didn't say anything nice in the first place]

[BAREN IS SO RUDE what the hell!! Yamato's so busy being annoyed that he almost misses the kinda-sorta compliment(s??), but to be fair, they're Baren compliments so. Y'know.]

I don't know anything about Superman, but if he'd beat you up, then I'll take it. [Not his best snarky comeback, but he tried... look, he's busy eating too okay and you know what he has bigger things to worry about. HE'S GONNA THINK ABOUT IT SO THERE.]

Anyway, if it was just me, I wouldn't care that much. [He should really stop making comments like that--how many times has he been told it sounds like he'd throw his life away? But it's true, and he barely has a filter, so he says it without thinking.] But if I have people to protect, there's no way I'm not going to do everything I can. Even you can understand that, can't you?

[He does.

There are people that he would protect automatically, if he was given the chance. His sister, in a heartbeat. Kashuu. Chuuya. Zoro. Nikkari. To some degree, Yamato by association. There's no one that Baren hates enough that he'd want to see them hurt, though there are others he'd actively try to prevent from seeing harm.

Not that he'll say that.

Insead, it's a roundabout - ]

So just make sure that Kiyo's taken care of in the eventuality of a zombie apocalypse, yeah?

[Yams might as well consider than assignment with how certainly Baren says it.]

[It's hard to tell if Yamato notices that evasion or not. He's oblivious to a lot of things, especially if they're subtle, and, let's be honest, especially if Baren's involved. But then again, he's best friends with Kiyomitsu "expert question dodger" Kashuu, so it's kind of a 50/50 chance.

If he does, though, he doesn't show any sign of it. He just snorts, putting his chopsticks down and getting up to get some tea.]

You don't have to tell me twice. He can't even survive without me as it is, he wouldn't last a minute. [A PUNK.]

[Baren shrugs easily at that, though he does manage an idle - ]

It feels weird to agree with you on anything.... Hey, say something dumb so I can argue, yeah?

Your hair is stupid.

[NO HESITATION]

Still blind, huh? It'll be hard to make it as a professional sword slasher that way.

[or whatever they're called now

but regardless, Baren's done with his food - so he's going to get up and move to put his plates in the sink.]

And now you're on dish duty!

[Is it possible for your eyes to roll out of your head because you were rolling them too hard... Yamato feels like he's going to find out sooner rather than later.

He just waves a hand at that, though, staying where he is since he's not done.] I'm always on dish duty, it's fine. Just make sure you store the leftovers properly.

[Waste not, want not... regardless of Yamato's feelings about Baren, he treats good food right.]

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